Tag: death
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Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002)
I don’t want to come off as some sort of movie snob or purist. There are many different ways to tell a story, and sticking to a rigid structure is not always the best course of action. Case in point, Hellraiser: Inferno was a detective mystery that had some Hellish aspects, and I think it worked. But I guess Miramax thought they could try the same formula and create another interesting movie out of a script previously unrelated to the franchise. But no. Hellraiser: Hellseeker sucks and I hate it. Welcome back to the Hellbound Halloween. We’re officially in the…
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The Lodge (2019)
The Lodge was one of the movies that I was super excited to watch and it just… somehow passed me by. No local theaters were showing it back in early 2019 and by the time I got the motivation to travel to see it, it had disappeared from all theaters. So this one has been on my to-watch list for a while, and I figured a month dedicated to horror movies would be the perfect time! Which makes it such a shame that I really didn’t like it.
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Remember Me (2010)
Sometimes one particular moment stands out in a movie and that’s all you remember. When I think the movie Plankton, it takes me a moment to remember the “plot” as I’m immediately focusing on the scene where one girl has caviar oozing out of her vagina as she shouts to the eggs that Mommy loves them. This is also the case with Remember Me, a movie starring Mr. Robert Pattinson that came out in the middle of the Twilight franchise. Before I watched this movie for the third time for this post, I couldn’t remember any plot details other than…
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The Green Knight (2021)
There’s a list of movies that I was excited to see before COVID hit and everything fell to shit, and The Green Knight was one such film. I can’t say that I’m a huge Arthurian legend nerd–I know the stuff covered on the animated Gargoyles series and that Sir Lancelot, the best knight ever who also fucks the king’s wife, was created by the French–but it’s been a passing interest. But add in a spooky atmosphere and I got hooked just by the trailer. And after what feels like years of waiting, it’s finally here, ready for me to watch…
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Joe Bell (2020)
When I first saw the trailer for Joe Bell, I thought to myself, “What kind of hetero nonsense is this?” It told too much of the story: a young gay man kills himself, and his father feels really bad about it. I joked that the real title should be A is for Ally and just assumed that it would be a movie that would make my eyes roll. But oh, dear reader, I was wrong. This movie pissed me the FUCK off.
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Haunting Me (2007)
I want you to know that there are times when I go above and beyond for this blog. Netflix has the Oh My Ghost films, a Thailand horror/comedy series starring a group of aging kathoeys–kind of like drag queens, kind of like trans women, kind of a third gender option… Similar to “baklâ” in the Philippines, which I talked about in the ZsaZsa Zaturnnah Ze Moveeh post. But I wasn’t satisfied with those films, because there’s a piece missing. Oh My Ghost is marketed as the first of four films, but it’s actually the second of something like six. The…
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The Rift: Dark Side of the Moon (2016)
Lemme pull back the curtain a bit here at Chwineka Watches: I usually listen to music when writing up these posts. Revolutionary, I know. I have that “lofi hip hop radio” YouTube video bookmarked, but lately I’ve felt the urge to listen to music in my collection. Even more recently, I’ve taken all the songs I have from my new favorite band–the Anix–put them into one playlist, and just hit shuffle when it comes time to write. I really do like these guys, so imagine my surprise when I heard them while watching this utterly lackluster Serbian film! But, like,…
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Beginners (2010)
It’s that time again! The list of movies I’ve mentioned–but haven’t reviewed on the blog–is getting larger and larger, and I feel this equally large sense of shame at not chipping away at it. So let’s roll the digital equivalent of a 312-sided die and see what we get! And today’s movie is… nope, I said no more superhero movies this month, so let’s reroll. Trying again… we get Beginners? A vaguely queer, indie romantic “comedy” starring Mr. Christopher Plummer and Ewan McGregor? How the fuck did that get on the list again? Ah, right, I watched The Conspiracy of…
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Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
I’m kicking off this entry in MCU March with an addendum. In the Ant-Man post, I said that movie was my favorite of the “overtly comedic Marvel movies.” Clearly I had forgotten about Thor: Ragnarok and how great this movie is when I wrote that. I think it’s safe to say that this is my favorite Marvel Cinematic Universe film (and I double checked the list so I won’t have to make this addendum again). I guess after rewatching all these movies, I have a soft spot for the God of Thunder.
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Pet Graveyard (2019)
I’d like to make a retraction: In my Doctor Mordrid review (my second review ever on this site) I said that Pet Graveyard was a movie from The Asylum. It turns out that it’s actually from Uncork’d Entertainment, which is similar in that both companies make bad movies, but Uncork’d seems to have less production value than the Asylum. So with that damning statement, let’s tackle another entry from my “movies I have referenced” list!
Chwineka Watches 