This may come as a shock to you, dear reader, but I'm a bit of a nerd. I know I come off as a total alpha chad, but I actually have a huge collection of roleplaying books, card games, board games, and just so much geek shit. I've been playing Dungeons & Dragons since I called my friends over, slammed the core three books on the table, and said that we're the kind of geeks who should be playing this game. As a longtime nerd, the various official D&D movies have been disappointing. The first was bad camp, the second was just bland, and the third has seemingly been scrubbed from everywhere. But not we have a big budget film with big name stars! Being a nerd is in! It's just a shame that throughout it all, I kept thinking about how D&D's parent company has been making some awful decisions lately that harm the brand.
fantasy
Centaurworld – Season 2, Episode 8 (2021)
Well it's been a minute, hasn't it? I left a lot of stuff unfinished when I took my hiatus back in January, and finishing up Centaurworld was pretty much the top of that list (mostly because I had a WIP of this post sitting in drafts for months). Well the time has come to wrap this up! Let's talk about the finale to Centaurworld, and probably the best episode overall.
Centaurworld – Season 2, Episodes 1-7 (2021)
Normally when I review a TV show, I watch a batch of episodes and write about them before continuing to the next batch. Sure, I may have seen the show before, but gives a feeling that I don't necessarily know exactly what's going to happen next. Well, that's not the case for Centaurworld's second season. It's a shorter one with only 8 episodes, but the last one is longer and wraps everything up. And I watched it before I could write my thoughts on the previous 7 episodes. So let me try to sum up my thoughts on the mysteries laid out with as few spoilers as possible, now that I know absolutely all the answers.
Centaurworld – Season 1, Episodes 1-10 (2021)
Happy New Year! There's probably one person out there right now going, "Hey! This isn't the start of the 'Festival Orchestrating' arc for Higurashi no Naku Koro ni: Kai, AKA When They Cry: Kai!" Well that potential reader is right--I haven't finished up Kai, partly because my computer can't play Blu-ray discs so I'd have to watch it in the cold living room, but also because I'm lazy. But that doesn't mean that I haven't been watching things! I've got movies lined up, but not as many shows since so many are things I'd want to cover here. But during the holidays I checked out Centaurworld, a Netflix animated series that looked goofy as hell. And it is! But it also has a dark undercurrent that leads to a fight with an eldritch abomination. So made for me, really. Oh, and it's also a musical. There's a lot going on.
The Green Knight (2021)
There's a list of movies that I was excited to see before COVID hit and everything fell to shit, and The Green Knight was one such film. I can't say that I'm a huge Arthurian legend nerd--I know the stuff covered on the animated Gargoyles series and that Sir Lancelot, the best knight ever who also fucks the king's wife, was created by the French--but it's been a passing interest. But add in a spooky atmosphere and I got hooked just by the trailer. And after what feels like years of waiting, it's finally here, ready for me to watch on a Tuesday afternoon in a nearly empty theater. Progress towards life getting back on track!
Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure (1984)
It wasn't my intention to avoid the main Star Wars movies; it's just that covering all nine is an event all to itself. And then the question becomes in what order do I watch them? Chronologically (1-9)? By release (4-6, 1-3, 7-9)? Flashback mode (4&5, 1-3, 6-9)? And what about Rogue One and Solo? But that's a problem for future Chwineka, and fuck that guy. Today we're talking about Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure, a made-for-TV kids film featuring everyone's favorite Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi characters, the ewoks. What, you didn't love the ewoks? Well too bad.
Almighty Thor (2011)
I've talked about this before, but The Asylum is a film company known for ridiculous movies like Sharknado and a ridiculous amount of knock-offs. Mockbusters, if you will. Back in 2005, Blockbuster--remember when that was relevant?--accidentally ordered 100,000 copies of HG Wells' War of the Worlds instead of the Stephen Spielberg film that came out the same year, War of the Worlds. From there the company just went wild, creating knockoffs like Atlantic Rim, Sunday School Musical, and in this particular case, Almight Thor to go up against Marvel's Thor. The God of Thunder is technically in the public domain, so why not!
Thor: The Dark World (2013)
Let's start this entry of MCU March with a question: do you remember who the villain of this movie is? Ten points if you remembered Malekith. But do you remember what his plan was, or why it had to happen at the specific time that it did? Thor: The Dark World is generally considered to be the weakest of all the movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and a lot of its details are forgotten. But with hindsight, this movie has some very important moments that set up everything that happens afterwards. What do I mean? Well, read on and find out.
Thor (2011)
I gotta say, I absolutely love that MCU March lined up in such a perfect way that not only do the number of weekdays match the number of movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but also that the Thor post is going up on Thursday. Thor's Day? Get it?! Ah, we have fun here at Chwineka Watches... Anyway, let's talk about my favorite film of Marvel's Phase One.
Jesus (1999)
Okay, so why I picked this particular movie might need a bit of explaining… First off, as I mentioned in the Dead & Breakfast review, I love Mr. Jeremy Sisto. A while ago I was browsing through his IMDB page and saw that he played Jesus–as in the son of God–in a TV miniseries. I had to see it! That was a few years ago, and I finally managed to stumble upon it recently. And I knew I’d have to review it.
Chwineka Watches 