Okay, you guys. You guys! I have a million dollar idea. No, a billion dollar idea! Are you ready? You're not ready, but here we go: what if--take a moment and think about this--what if... Superman... was evil? I know, right?! Groundbreaking. Revolutionary. Just think about how much--wait, what? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS HAS BEEN DONE A THOUSAND TIMES BEFORE?! Fuck... FUCK!! Fine! Whatever! I'll stick with just talking about movies, then, I fucking guess.
“I don’t have friends, I got family.”
Anticipation makes the heart grow fonder, or something like that. Back in 2020 when the plan was to go to a movie theater each week--you know, before the world ended--Antlers was a movie I was pumped to see. It's a mainstream wendigo movie! That's a cryptid I am inordinately fond of! And thankfully, the anticipation paid off better than The Lodge, because this movie is certainly passable.
Not Cool (2014)
So it was my friend's birthday last week. He's part of Movie Night--he's actually the guy who started it in his parents' basement--and wanted to watch something truly awful in celebration. Just some absolute dog shit. And I thought, hey, I know something that is supposed to be irredeemably bad! And so we watched Not Cool, a film that was made by a YouTuber as part of a reality show. And I hated it so much. So, so much.
Saying you're not a fan of Mr. M Night Shyamalan's later work is a pretty basic opinion these days. No one enjoyed The Last Airbender; and while The Happening is generally pointed to as his worst film, I will go to my grave saying Lady in the Water is objectively worse. So I did not have high hopes for Old when I first heard about it. And now that I've seen it, I can say that it's another disappointment from a man who had so much potential. What a twist.
Butt Boy (2019)
So, uh... hey. How you doin'? Well, I'm doing just fine! Sorry there hasn't been a post on this blog since... October? Holy hell. I burned out real hard, got super stressed at work, and now I'm in the process of moving! So sadly there hasn't been that much time or energy to keep this blog up to date. I'm hoping once the move is done things will change, but I make no promises. All I can say now is that every so often a movie will stun me in such a way that I'll have no choice but to brush the dust off this site and talk about it. And so it is with Butt Boy, a movie about a man who puts anything and anyone up his own ass.
Last year for October I watched all the Hellraiser films as part of The Hellbound Halloween. That's 10 movies about Pinhead and his fellow cenobites, with a brief break near the end because holy shit they somehow got progressively worse as time went on. So when I heard that the long-awaited Hellraiser reboot was dropping in October, I knew I had to talk about it. And so here we are on a Saturday while the weekdays are taken up by October of the Living Dead.
Survival of the Dead (2009)
Survival of the Dead was Mr. George A Romero's last film he directed before passing in 2017. The man is an absolute legend in the horror genre, effectively creating the zombie subgenre as we know it today. Night of the Living Dead will most likely forever be looked at as a classic. As for all his other movies? Wildly varying quality with Survival being one of his worst. Whoops.
The Munsters (2022)
I can't promise that there will always be extra posts on Saturdays this month, but holy shit did I need to rant about how bad The Munsters movie was. God awful trash.
Even with Movie Night taking a hiatus and then back with a relaxed schedule for a while, I still watch a lot of movies in a year. I don't mean that so much as a brag, but as a defense in this case. Devour is a psychological horror film starring Mr. Jensen "Dean Winchester" Ackles, and its poster caught my eye enough that I put it on for Movie Night. Simple enough, right? Well, turns out we had watched it back in 2018 and none of us remembered a single detail about it. Not the best look!
I feel like I usually have a fairly good idea on what a movie is about just from the premise. Not specifically every twist and turn, but for the most part I can watch a trailer and figure out if the movie's going to be a trainwreck or not. And I absolutely expected Becky to be a disaster. All you have to do is look at Mr. Kevin James and the swastika tattoo on the back of his head! Paul Blart as a neo-Nazi, trying a serious role? Bound to be a disaster. So imagine my surprise when this movie was not only not bad, but actually kind of good...