Going through all these Children of the Corn movies for October of the Corn, we see that the movies so far have covered a lot of ground (or, as much ground as you can cover when the main focus is a creepy kid cult). We've had the cult be active in the modern day and also a relic of years past. We've had the setting be a corn field and also urban Chicago. We've had the cult led by children, and also an adult who happened to have once been one of those kid leaders. And now we come to Children of the Corn: Revelation, a movie about the ghosts of the cult haunting... an apartment complex. Man, moments like this really hammer home that this is no one's favorite franchise.
mystery
I have gathered you all here to reveal that I sussed out who stole the cookies from the cookie jar.
Children of the Corn 666: Isaac’s Return (1999)
I see what this movie was trying to do with "666" instead of "Part VI," but... why? 666 is traditionally regarded as the number of The Beast, but that's from the Book of Revelation (remember, it's singular, not plural). So it's very Christian... and while the child cult of He Who Walks Behind the Rows has performative Christian aspects, it's definitely not the same religion. So having "666" in the title makes no sense!
The Void (2017)
Have you ever seen the music video for "Fantasy" by DyE? If you haven't, here's a link. He's a French electropop artist and the song is pretty good! But the main reason I want you to see it is because it has a twist. A very... Lovecraftian twist. What starts out seemingly normal night suddenly becomes a nightmare involving realities beyond mortal comprehension. And I bring this up because that's basically the plot of The Void, too.
So Undercover (2012)
This post is not sponsored by Tubi, but I am gonna gush about them for a bit. Sorry, but’s a site with a bunch of movies you can watch for free! Sure there are ads, but uBlock Origin beats that shit down pretty well. And the movies come in a variety of flavors, from “That was pretty good,” to “Wait, they made a movie with THAT premise?!” And on that note, let’s talk about So Undercover, a film where Ms. Miley Cyrus infiltrates a sorority under orders from the FBI.
National Treasure (2004)
Who has two thumbs and actually looked at a calendar before deciding what movie to review? You’ll have to trust me on the thumbs part, but this guy! Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, and because of that I thought I should do a themed post. But what to watch? Independence Day is almost too obvious, Jaws took place during the Fourth… But I decided to go with a movie based on longstanding American traditions: stealing stuff and believing conspiracy theories. LET’S STEAL THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!
The Gorgon (1964)
According to WordPress internal tracking, this is my 100th post! Huzzah! Sure, a number of those are “basic information” posts, but still! I’ve been at this for almost half a year now, so I think we can say this has been a successful experiment. And with that, we’re done! Thanks for coming, see you on my next flight of fancy!
Horns (2013)
I honestly don't know why I dragged my feet on this movie. Harry Potter grows horns and solves a murder, man! And it's based on a novel by Mr. Joe Hill, the pen name of Stephen King's son, whose last work I saw was In the Tall Grass (I'll get to you one day, Locke & Key). If I had taken the time to look at the cast I would've also been blown away by names I recognize: Joe Anderson (Across the Universe), James Remar (The Blackcoat's Daughter), Heather Graham (Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me), and more! It's almost like this movie was made for me! Just a shame about the weak points, though.
Foodfight! (2012)
I don’t know about you, but I need a break from Batman. So let’s switch gears and watching something absolutely awful! Foodfight!–the title has an exclamation point so you know it’s quality–is infamously bad: it’s hideous, the story sucks, it’s shameless product placement, and it cost $65 million to make because they had no idea what they were doing and then the computers the movie was stored on got stolen. Oops! It eventually limped its way to a DVD release, and here we are. I own this. I make only the best decisions.
Batman: Hush (2019)
In the Batman: Under the Red Hood review I touched briefly on the Hush storyline. This movie is an adaptation of that story, but minus any trace of Jason Todd. And while Under the Red Hood was a pretty faithful adaptation, Hush decides to make some big changes at the end, and they are... a bit of a mixed bag.
Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (2000)
Yesterday's post was about the tragedy of a Robin killed by the Joker. But things could have been worse. Worse than death, some of you might be wondering? Well, yeah, I'd argue that what happened to Tim Drake, the third Robin, in this movie is worse than just being killed. With that in mind, let's talk about one of the darker Batman movies!
