COVID fucked up a lot of stuff. Case in point, Marvel celebrated the release of Thor: Love and Thunder because that meant they had finally caught up with all the projects announced at San Diego Comic Con 2019 (that had a release date). November 5, 2021? Whoopsie! But it's here now, and it's getting... very mixed reviews. And I kind of agree. To an extent, at least.
death
Scream (1996)
Good heavens, would you look at the time! Why, it's time for a franchise! And how very topical, since Scream--which is what we're calling the fifth movie because sure, why not--is coming out this month and I'm... um... hm. Okay, so the original plan for January was to watch movies by Mr. Ulli Lommel, who I fucking hate because he made some of the worst garbage I've ever seen. Then I found out that Scream was coming out on the 14th, so I canceled those plans and pivoted to the Scream franchise with the intent of wrapping it all up with the new movie. And then the Omicron variant hit and I can't shake a stick without hitting someone who's caught COVID in the past two weeks. In person hangouts are being trashed and the thought of going to a theater is just... it's too risky. But I'd already watched the first two films in anticipation of this, so here we are. 2021 is off to a great start.
Ghosting: The Spirit of Christmas (2019)
The first time I heard the premise of Ghosting: The Spirit of Christmas, I though it was hilariously fucked up. Now, when most people hear the word "ghosting," they think of ditching someone without saying a word. And yes, that is a plot element here: a girl goes on a date with a guy and then ghosts him. The catch is THAT SHE FUCKING DIED. SHE GHOSTED HIM BECAUSE SHE DIED AND IS NOW A GHOST. That's macabre! And hilarious! And it's a Christmas movie? Sign my morbid ass up!
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
I just can't talk about this movie without going full spoilers. There's a lot to cover, so this will be on the longer side.
The Backwater Gospel (2011)
Now, it's completionally understandable that someone would look at a lack of a When They Cry: Kai episode summary over the weekend and the review of a short film on Monday--that went up late, damn it, because I didn't notice the upload time was set to 11PM and had to change that--would suggest that I've fallen behind on the blog. But that's absolutely... well, it's not incorrect, let's just say that. But The Backwater Gospel has always been something I wanted to cover, because while it's less than 10 minutes long, the look, feel, and story are top notch.
Hellraiser: Revelations (2011)
Film rights are a can of worms. They are the reason the Marvel Cinematic Universe was created without mutants, despite the Avengers and X-Men both being owned by Marvel. It's also partially why Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch are no longer Magneto's children (as of time of writing, the Trial of Magneto may have a weird ending). Whenever you hear about film rights, it's typically never a good sign. That's the case with Hellraiser: Revelations, a rushed entry in the Hellraiser franchise made so Dimension could keep the film rights. The Hellbound Halloween has hit its lowest point. This is why I took a break from this franchise for a week.
Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005)
Hellraiser: Hellworld is a real turning point in the Hellraiser franchise. Not only is it a bad movie in itself that was filmed back-to-back with Hellraiser: Deader, but it's also the last time that the incomparable Mr. Doug Bradley would play Pinhead. What a completely lackluster ending to such an iconic performance! It's actually a little sad, and exhausting in a way I can't really describe. I'm sure I'll figure out my feelings by the time we reach the end of this installment of the Hellbound Halloween.
Hellraiser: Deader (2005)
There's something about franchises--particularly big horror franchises--where it sure seems like each one has a film that just refuses to stick in my head. I wrote about Children of the Corn: The Gathering just last year, but even then I still only remember the barest of details without looking at the post. Something about a fever...? In that same vein, was it Leprechaun 2 or Leprechaun 3 where he was at a pawn shop? And A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master is just a total blank to me. The point being I've seen all 10 Hellraiser films before, but had no memory of what the hell Hellraiser: Deader was about. But now I've rewatched it and can safely say that I'll most likely forget every detail of this boring movie--again--by next month, if not next week.
Carnival of Souls (1962)
I have a list bookmarked that ranks what most people regard as the best horror movies ever made. And I've... covered an embarrassingly few of those movies on this blog. I definitely have seen a huge chunk of these films! I just tend to gravitate towards garbage because ranting about something being bad is easier than making a post with nothing but praise. But I have plans to burn through a couple of my personal to-do lists, so let's kick off this burst of motivation by talking about something actually good for a change: Carnival of Souls.
Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002)
I don't want to come off as some sort of movie snob or purist. There are many different ways to tell a story, and sticking to a rigid structure is not always the best course of action. Case in point, Hellraiser: Inferno was a detective mystery that had some Hellish aspects, and I think it worked. But I guess Miramax thought they could try the same formula and create another interesting movie out of a script previously unrelated to the franchise. But no. Hellraiser: Hellseeker sucks and I hate it. Welcome back to the Hellbound Halloween. We're officially in the bad half of the franchise.
Chwineka Watches 