Avengers: Endgame (2019)

Everything in the Marvel Cinematic Universe has led to this. The Avengers and their allies stood up to Thanos in Avengers: Infinity War and were found wanting. Now it's up to the survivors to pick up the pieces and try to, well... avenge. This is the end of an era, except, you know, for Spider-Man: Far From Home being an epilogue to Phase Three and all that. MCU March is almost over, so let's get straight to it!

Captain Marvel (2019)

Depending on who you ask, Captain Marvel was either a perfectly fine movie, or the work of evil social justice warriors trying to ruin everything for real comic fans. This film, Captain America: The First Avenger, and Thor: The Dark World all have have a 6.9 rating on IMDB (at time of writing)(nice), but only one of these films has 6.2% of its ratings 1 out of 10. The other two have 1/10 ratings being 1.2% and 1.1%, respectively, for those keeping track at home. But what separates Captain Marvel from the other two? What about this titular character is different? Hm, I wonder, he says sarcastically.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

I think I can safely say that this is the biggest cinematic crossover ever. What even comes close? The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? The Monster Squad? Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Okay, that last one is a strong contender, but I digress. After 10 years of setting up characters and stories in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it all comes together with Avengers: Infinity War. We're in the endgame of MCU March, so heads up: a LOT happens so the review section is going to be a bit long.

Thor (2011)

I gotta say, I absolutely love that MCU March lined up in such a perfect way that not only do the number of weekdays match the number of movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but also that the Thor post is going up on Thursday. Thor's Day? Get it?! Ah, we have fun here at Chwineka Watches... Anyway, let's talk about my favorite film of Marvel's Phase One.

The Phantom (1996)

Good heavens, look at the time! It's been a while since I rolled randomly on the list of movies I've referenced but haven't reviewed yet, so let's do that again! Out of a list of 291 movies (why do I do this to myself), the random die roller picks... #247! And that film is... available exclusively on HBO Max, a streaming service I don't currently have access to. Oh no, it looks like I'll have to talk about a secret agent monkey another day. So let's roll again... #195! The Phantom! This I can do!

The Polar Express (2004)

I want to start by saying that we have a lot to thank Robert Zemeckis for. He wrote and directed Back to the Future, its sequels, and directed the... Back to the Future Saturday morning cartoon? That has to be a typo. Anyway the man is a legend! Buuuuut... holy crap, his animated movies are unpleasant to look at. It also doesn't help that the story at the heart of The Polar Express is also pretty blah.

The Scorpion King: Book of Souls (2018)

When I talked about The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power, I had a number of people very surprised that they made 4 of these movies. Well hold on to your butts, but there's actually 5 (so far). We've gone many different directions in this franchise, from the first feeling similar in tone to The Mummy Returns, the second being the Young Adventures of Mathayus, the third and fourth feeling like unconnected SyFy original movies, and then this one taking itself very seriously. And that could have been interesting, if I weren't exhausted all the way down to my soul by this franchise.

The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power (2015)

I was kind of right! Score half a point for me! In the The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption post, I said I'd be pissed if Cobra/Silda and her people were killed off between movies, and they... might have been? They're never mentioned, Mathayus' new kingdom is never mentioned, and anything tying this to the previous movie has seemingly been scrubbed away. I mean, except for keeping Mr. Victor Webster as the Scorpion King. Like... why keep the actor if you're not keeping almost any other form of continuity?

The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption (2012)

Full disclosure, this was the last film in Mummy Mondays that I was looking forward to. I had never seen a Scorpion King movie before this, and I wasn't all that excited to do so. This movie was the exception for two very big reasons: Mr. Billy Zane and Ron Perlman! Motherfuckin' the Collector from Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight and the good Hellboy! Even if this movie was awful, at least I had those two keeping me afloat.