Children of the Corn: Runaway (2018)

And here we are at last: October of the Corn has reached the final movie of the Children of the Corn franchise. I mean, at least for now as even coronavirus apparently can't stop the upcoming reboot. But Children of the Corn: Runaway is an interesting one as it's a sequel to 2009's Children of the Corn made-for-TV reboot, but made after Children of the Corn: Genesis, which by all accounts appears to be in the original continuity. Then again, if Scorpion King: Book of Souls can come out after Tom Cruise rebooted The Mummy, the sky's the limit! Enough faffing about, let's finish this franchise.

Children of the Corn (2009)

We are so close to finishing October of the Corn... And October too, but this spooky month doesn't exhaust me like these last few Children of the Corn movies do, and the remake to 1984's Children of the Corn is no exception. This film is far more faithful to the original short story, but at what cost? For me the cost is that it's an absolute slog to get through. So without further ado...

Children of the Corn: Revelation (2001)

Going through all these Children of the Corn movies for October of the Corn, we see that the movies so far have covered a lot of ground (or, as much ground as you can cover when the main focus is a creepy kid cult). We've had the cult be active in the modern day and also a relic of years past. We've had the setting be a corn field and also urban Chicago. We've had the cult led by children, and also an adult who happened to have once been one of those kid leaders. And now we come to Children of the Corn: Revelation, a movie about the ghosts of the cult haunting... an apartment complex. Man, moments like this really hammer home that this is no one's favorite franchise.

Spiral (2020)

Leading up to talking about horror movies every weekday in October I got a Shudder account. If you don't know what that is, it's a streaming service that caters specifically to the horror genre. That's actually where I watched Mandy after Amazon was a lagging piece of garbage! I don't know if I'll keep with it after the free month is over, but in the mean time it has been interesting to watch some Shudder exclusives like 2020's Spiral, a queer horror thriller! Not to be confused with 2021's Spiral, which is the revival of the Saw franchise.

Children of the Corn 666: Isaac’s Return (1999)

I see what this movie was trying to do with "666" instead of "Part VI," but... why? 666 is traditionally regarded as the number of The Beast, but that's from the Book of Revelation (remember, it's singular, not plural). So it's very Christian... and while the child cult of He Who Walks Behind the Rows has performative Christian aspects, it's definitely not the same religion. So having "666" in the title makes no sense!

Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1995)

I don't know why I picked up every single Children of the Corn movie. It started years ago when I did Chwineka Watches 31 Netflix Horror Movies for October and all the Corn movies up to that point (minus Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice for some reason) were available for streaming. Then years later I decided to inflict it all on Movie Night, which... well it didn't require me to pick up physical copies, but it helped facilitate watching. And now here I am, watching the whole series for a third time. Which is a long winded way of saying that having seen all the movies, Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest is the best sequel (although that doesn't mean it's good).

Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1993)

October of the Corn continues with Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice, which is obviously not the final movie. It was a bad idea to use that word for Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter--the fourth film out of 10 (before reboots)--and it was a bad idea here. Sure, Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest came out 3 years after this, but you had to know that creating a sequel 8 years after the original was going to open the door to countless sequels. Well, it's 7 sequels, a reboot, a sequel to that reboot, and a supposed preboot coming out next year... But still! Wait, where was I? The Final Sacrifice, right!

Hereditary (2018)

I count myself lucky that my family isn't too crazy. Sure, we have members like "the one who's always drunk," but things could definitely be worse. Like, oh, for example, my mother didn't have dissociative identity disorder and then died in hospice care, my father didn't die from self-inflicted starvation, and my (nonexistent) brother didn't suffer from schizophrenia before hanging himself! Oh, and I also don't have a tense relationship with my (also nonexistent) children because one time I almost burned them alive while sleepwalking. Man, wouldn't it suck to have that kind of baggage!

Children of the Corn (1984)

Welcome to October of the Corn! That's right, the same guy who skipped the X-Men: First Class movies because he was sick of franchises is jumping straight into another one right after Mummy Mondays ended. I have to do something productive with all these DVDs that I own, right? So suffer with me, because for the next 10 Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays (with one exception late in the month), we're going to talk about no one's favorite horror franchise. Fun!