So last week I talked about Brightburn being disappointing and how it made me long for--and I quote--"a mockumentary from 2000 about a fake boy band." Very specific, right? Well let's take a trip back two decades and talk about a forgotten... "gem" isn't the right word because this isn't an objectively good MTV made-for-TV movie, but it knew exactly what it was and leaned into it appropriately.
Not Cool (2014)
So it was my friend's birthday last week. He's part of Movie Night--he's actually the guy who started it in his parents' basement--and wanted to watch something truly awful in celebration. Just some absolute dog shit. And I thought, hey, I know something that is supposed to be irredeemably bad! And so we watched Not Cool, a film that was made by a YouTuber as part of a reality show. And I hated it so much. So, so much.
Evil Toons (1992)
I would like to lodge a formal complaint. I was promised porn stars in a cheesy horror movie fighting to survive against evil cartoons brought to life, and yet there was only one titular evil toon. Yes, there is the suggestion that the Knockoffronomicon has more sinister animated beasties, but I'd argue that's still false advertising. Well att least I got to listen to some godawful rock music... Okay, maybe I should start from the beginning.
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Finally, some good fucking content. After slogging through Night of the Living Dead and The Return of the Living Dead sequels, I set some time aside to watch an actually good movie near the end of October of the Dead (and also a really bad one, but we'll get to that on Halloween proper). Shaun of the Dead is a parody of all the other zombie movies and stands out as a really fun watch. You know what? I keep going back and forth on it, but I think this is officially my favorite zombie movie! Honestly not sure why it took me so long to fully realize that.
Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave (2005)
And so with what is effectively Return of the Living Dead V, this stupid franchise is over. Return of the Living Dead started off as a horror comedy that veered more towards teen horror in the later sequels. But what if we could have both? What if they made a zombie horror movie that's also a teen comedy? Too bad "teen comedy" in the mid 2000's meant lots of boobs and pot. What else was I expecting for October of the Living Dead...?
Return of the Living Dead: Part II (1988)
Stop me if you've heard this one: a vat of Trioxin leaks, Mr. Thom Mathews and Mr. James Karen get exposed and slowly become zombies, and the gas hits clouds which rains the chemical all over a nearby graveyard. Yes, that is the setup for The Return of the Living Dead, but it's also a good chunk of the setup for the sequel, Return of the Living Dead: Part II. Look, I figured the later sequels I'd watch as part of October of the Living Dead would be bad, but I didn't expect the first sequel to be so repetitive.
The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
Most people don't have perfect memories. Details get blurred, forgotten, or flat out exchanged. For example, the iconic line "We're gonna need a bigger boat," in Jaws was actually, "You're gonna need a bigger boat," and so on. I bring this up today because while most of the Return of the Living Dead series is completely forgettable, one element of it seems to have been associated with Mr. George A Romero's movies and has flavored how the public thinks of zombies. Just little things I've noticed during October of the Living Dead.
The Munsters (2022)
I can't promise that there will always be extra posts on Saturdays this month, but holy shit did I need to rant about how bad The Munsters movie was. God awful trash.
Time Bandits (1981)
You know it's been a hell of a week when Movie Night is just dedicated to actors who have recently died. Case in point, Mr. David Warner passed away at the age of 80, just shy of his 81st birthday (which is today, by the way). There were so many things we could've watched to remember him--one friend suggested Tron, I had In the Mouth of Madness queued up, and there was the possibility of just watching several episodes of Batman: The Animated Series that featured Ra's al Ghul. But in the end it turned out that most of us hadn't seen Time Bandits, so we went with that. And it was goofy fun!
A Wrestling Christmas Miracle (2020)
Mr. Ken del Vecchio is a bad man. His politics sucks, his writing sucks, his acting sucks, and the fact that he forces his kid into his movies sucks. Joker's Poltergeist was in very poor taste, A Karate Christmas Miracle, was baffling, and A Wrestling Christmas Miracle was so, so boring. The others may be worse to some people, but this was the bottom of the barrel for me.