Look, I don’t want to pat myself on the back too much. This blog already is a bit of an ego trip, but I’m just a normal guy. I put my pants on one trite quote at a time. However, after hearing that the twist in Malignant was supposed to be completely surprising, I figured it out in something like 20 minutes. What, like it’s hard?
Sometimes one particular moment stands out in a movie and that’s all you remember. When I think the movie Plankton, it takes me a moment to remember the “plot” as I’m immediately focusing on the scene where one girl has caviar oozing out of her vagina as she shouts to the eggs that Mommy loves them. This is also the case with Remember Me, a movie starring Mr. Robert Pattinson that came out in the middle of the Twilight franchise. Before I watched this movie for the third time for this post, I couldn’t remember any plot details other than the twist ending where Pattinson dies in the Twin Towers on 9/11.
So, uh… hi. How have you been? It’s been a while, yeah? August was a shitty month for reasons I don’t want to get into and it messed up my posting schedule to the point that I dropped Sunday posts about Shōjo Kakumei Utena, AKA Revolutionary Girl Utena. But we’re back up and running! I still have my friend’s my very own Funimation account, so let’s dive back into Utena Tenjou fighting for the honor–and ownership–of Anthy Himemiya, the character with the darkest skin in the series. Don’t think about that too much.
Breaking the tradition of the last two What If…? posts, this is not my newest favorite episode of the series. By process of elimination I think it’s actually my least favorite? But that’s not the same as “the worst”–just “my fifth favorite out of five episodes.” This wasn’t too much of a surprise, as episode 5, “What If Zombies?!” goes all in on the reanimated dead, and I’m typically lukewarm towards zombies. And for reference, Otto; or, Up with Dead People gets a pass on how gay it is and because it came out before zombies oversaturated the media landscape.
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