Okay, so this one might need a little explaining. I am a "geriatric millennial," a term I saw once and cannot get out of my head, which in this case means I was on the internet back in the heyday of anime music videos, or AMVs. People would take anime clips and cut them together with a song and at the time it was high art. One AMV that stuck with me was Kusoyaro mashing up Bjork's "Bachlorette" with the film Shōjo Kakumei Utena Aduresensu Mokushiroku, AKA Revolutionary Girl Utena: Adolescence of Utena. It's my favorite AMV and the reason why I include "I'm a fountain of blood in the shape of a girl" on most of my social profiles. But I'd never actually seen Utena, so when a friend gave me access to his I got my own Funimation account, I figured it was time to fix that starting with the show that came before the movie. Time to look at some vintage 90's girl power that isn't Sailor Moon!
Man, after being disappointed that Fear Street: 1994 wasn't 10 out of 10 amazing, it's nice to find something like PG: Psycho Goreman, which is absolutely my jam in just about every way possible. Horror? You've got a demonic alien trying to destroy the universe. Black comedy? It's not going to make sense here, but that was the weightiest "You're welcome," in the history of cinema, and it was hilarious. Over the top gore? To an unrealistic degree which wraps back around to enjoyable! Some of the wettest puppets imaginable? Not my particular fetish, but I know this hit the spot for some people.
How do you define an "X movie" where X is whatever trait you're talking about? Is something a gay movie only because it features at least one gay person? Is it still "gay" if they're not the main characters? And is it still "gay" if one of the main actors is gay, but it never comes up so we're not sure if their character also is? I know it sounds like I'm talking around the Beauty and the Beast live-action remake, but that's a chore for some other time. After all, it's still Pride Month, so we're talking about overtly queer movies! Bit is queer, to be sure, largely because the main cast are lady vampires who are into other ladies, but that's not the only reason...
Happy Pride Month, everybody! June will be dedicated to movies with overly queer content or were made by queer creators (a distinction that will come up later). I'm going to start this all off by doing something different: I enjoyed What Keeps You Alive. It has moments where the story has problems if you think about the implications too hard, but it's a tense thriller that had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. That being said, the trailer revealed way too much--they always do--and while not spoiling everything, I'm going to talk a lot about the story in this post. So if you want to see a thriller about a woman discovering what secrets her wife has been keeping from her, go check it out on Netflix. And with that out of the way, let's dive in!
Sometimes you watch a movie because an actor you like is in it. I don't remember Hellraiser: Hellworld for it's groundbreaking script, but because the prolific Mr. Lance Henriksen was in the Hellraiser sequel that took place in an video game. And... Henry Cavill was in it? I'll file that away for later, but the point still stands. So while looking for my next movie to review I saw the trailer for Wildling, recognized an actor in this, and instantly knew I had to watch it. And as a bonus, Brad Dourif--Wormtongue in The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Chucky in Child's Play, and a dozen more recognizable roles--is also in this!
We're back after a short break with more episodes of Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, AKA When They Cry. Last time was the Cotton Drifting arc, focusing on Mion and her surprise twin sister, Shion. Turns out Mion is the heir to the local yakuza and is in one way or another responsible for every death and disappearance associated with Oyashiro-sama's curse. Oh, and she has a demon inside of her, which might be different from the reason the she and Rena were acting creepy during Spirited Away by the Demon. These next five episodes--the Curse Killing arc--focus on Satoko, a character whose tragic backstory hasn't been fully fleshed out yet. By the end of this you might wish that was still the case...
February is almost over, so now would be a good time to announce that March is going to be another event month! Every weekday I will be talking about a different movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, so it's MCU March! I'm kicking off this endeavor with a little prologue: 2003's Hulk movie, which is not actually a part of the MCU as it was produced by Universal Studios before Iron Man started the franchise rolling, and 2008's The Incredible Hulk is a reboot for the character. But it's an infamous Marvel movie I hadn't seen, so let's fix that!
I love my friends, I really do. When I asked around about what people thought was the worst movie they'd ever seen I got some of the usual suspects, but enough of my friends are fucking weirdos like me that I got a few rare cuts as well. One of them was Taintlight, a cheap and ugly parody of Twilight (a movie I have now mentioned on this blog 6 times so I'm now contractually obligated to cover it before the new year is over). How ugly? Well...
Is there a recognized subgenre of movies called something like "The Room, but X" or am I breaking new ground? Either way, it's been too hetero during this month of some of the worst movies ever made, so let's watch The Room, but gay! Yes, even gay directors can make movies that are so bad and boring that I long for the sweet release of death while suffering through them. Equality!
When I was compiling a list of potential movies for a month full of "the worst ever," there was only one movie that made me shudder every time I remembered it existed. Now, I use a lot of hyperbolic language on this blog, but I need you to understand something: I mean that literally. Every time I thought about Ms. Paris Hilton's The Hottie & the Nottie, I physically shuddered. Out of ALL the movies I gathered links to, this was the one I dreaded the most. But here we are, for better or worse.