Hawkeye – Season 1, Episode 6

The last episode of Hawkeye ended on a shocking cliffhanger, or at least shocking for people who are bad at predicting plot twists. Now that we've reached the final episode, the question becomes: will everything get wrapped up? And the answer is... mostly? I have few complaints. An extra 15 minutes certainly didn't hurt.

Hawkeye – Season 1, Episode 4

The latest episode of Hawkeye, "Partners, Am I Right?" has me wondering where this limited series is going. With four episodes down, we only have two left and so much is happening that I'm concerned that this series isn't going to wrap it all up. But before I get all doom and gloom about what might happen, let's talk about what actually did happen in this week's episode.

Elf-Man (2012)

I think I've made it fairly clear by now that I watch some absolute garbage. I see a premise that sounds stupid as shit and think to myself, "Oh, I can't not watch that." Most of the time such trash is amusing in some way. Maybe it's actually sometimes funny like House Shark. Maybe it's so awful in every way that you can't help but laugh like A Talking Cat!?!. But sometimes, when fate is feeling spiteful, I watch something that's just so aggressively bland, it hurts my soul. Welcome to me talking about Elf-Man, a movie where Hornswoggle from WWE Wee Man from Jackass plays a Christmas elf superhero.

Hawkeye – Season 1, Episode 3

Another week means another episode of Hawkeye, the latest Disney+ Marvel Cinematic Universe show. Last time, Hawkeye (Clint Barton) and Hawkeye (Kate Bishop) indulged their disaster-prone tendencies while trying to get back a costume he murdered a bunch of people in (Clint) and trying to find out if your future step-dad, Jack Duquesne, is a murderer (Kate). The ended up getting captured by the Tracksuit Mafia, which is led by... well, let's dive into who is Maya Lopez (Ms. Alaqua Cox).

Hawkeye – Season 1, Episodes 1 & 2

We're back, baby! Did you miss me? Don't answer that. After taking a week off, Chwineka Watches is back to cover not one, but two episodes of Hawkeye, the newest Disney+ Marvel Cinematic Universe show! Set after Avengers: Endgame, the series sees the titular Hawkeye, Clint Barton (Mr. Jeremy Renner), seemingly having put his superhero life behind him, only to get wrapped up in a murder mystery thanks to the titular Hawkeye, Kate Bishop (Hailee Steinfeld), his biggest fan. Yes, even Hawkeye has fans. I really like Green Arrow--the DC Comics archer superhero--so it can happen.

Eternals (2021)

I want to start by saying that I enjoyed Eternals. I went in with some fairly low expectations after all the mixed reviews, but I thought it was better than expected. It was fun--and not in a "so dumb it wraps back around to enjoyable" way--and despite the long run time, I never really felt it drag. But there be spoilers ahead, so keep reading at your own discretion. Like the header said, I won't spoil the big moments, but still.

What If…? – Season 1, Episode 9

So you might notice that I have not ascended to godhood. While I did correctly guess that What If...?'s eighth episode would be titled "What If Ultron Won?" I was wrong about the title of the final episode. It's actually titled "What If the Watcher Broke His Oath?" which is definitely a better title, so I'll take that loss. Everything in the first season has been leading up to this moment, as well as something in the second season! Let's wrap this up!

What If…? – Season 1, Episode 8

I fuckin' called it! Hell yeah! Sure, we all pretty much knew what this episode would be about, but I got the title exactly right! Granted, the number of titles it could've had was limited. But still! "What If Ultron Won?" is the name of this episode, and I got it exactly right last time. Now, if next week's finale is titled “What If It Took a Multiverse to Save the Multiverse?” then I shall transcend the mortal plane and become a god.