Triggered (2019)

When a friend told me about Triggered, I was confused why she was drawing my attention to a film about kids in the woods with bombs around their necks. But that's 2020's Triggered; 2019's Triggered is about a social justice warrior murdering people. That made a bit more sense given my tendency to watch the worst movies. But maybe this was a parody made in good faith? Maybe the message isn't just, "she's a deranged person who's doing all this for attention." But then I saw it, and unfortunately that's absolutely the message. Well fuck me, I guess.

The Lighthouse (2019)

What's this? A surprise Thursday post? That's right, it's time for another month-long event! Every weekday in October I'll have a horror movie post ready for you, dear reader(s). In previous years I've done personal things like "Chwineka Watches 31 Netflix Horror Movies for October" (or CW31NHMO for short), but ain't nobody got time for posting EVERY day. Also I have far more streaming services at my fingertips, so movies will be coming from all over the internet. Anyway, let's start the month off with something actually good: Robert Eggers' second movie, The Lighthouse.

The Perfection (2019)

I try to be a decent person; at least, in regards to this blog. Sure, I fuckin’ swear sometimes, but I try to provide content warnings where applicable. And dear reader, I gotta warn you about this movie: there’s body horror on screen, several allusions and threats about sexual assault, and both of those are tied enough to the plot that I’m going to talk about them. I enjoyed the movie enough to give it a thumbs up, but no one’s gonna judge if you decide to skip this one.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Season 4 (2019)

Gonna start this one with a bit of a tangent. The original rough draft of this post was 2563 words. See, previously I was devoting at least a paragraph to each episode, going over everything in detail. But that’s longer than your average high school essay (hell, upwards of double the length) and that’s just unfeasible. It absolutely makes sense to cut everything down, summarizing the season in a paragraph or two, and then going over things I liked or didn’t like. But on the other hand, I’m throwing away thousands of words I wrote, which is one hell of an edit. It’s all for the greater good, I know, but don’t be surprised if at some point in the future I post an actual essay about… something.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Season 2 (2019)

Welcome back to me talking way too much about She-Ra and the Princesses of Power! Today I’m focusing on season 2, which will be a shorter post than yesterday’s. Season 2 is only seven episodes, while season 3 is six; together that adds up to 13, the same number of episodes as seasons 1, 4, and 5. Maybe there were production issues that delayed the second half of the season? The world may never know, because I couldn’t find any reason for it. Anyway, off we go!

Batman: Hush (2019)

In the Batman: Under the Red Hood review I touched briefly on the Hush storyline. This movie is an adaptation of that story, but minus any trace of Jason Todd. And while Under the Red Hood was a pretty faithful adaptation, Hush decides to make some big changes at the end, and they are... a bit of a mixed bag.

Dark Light (2019)

This was not a good movie. It’s not one of those incredibly bad movies that wraps back around to “I have to show all my friends,” but it’s also not so boring that I contemplate suicide like an Ulli Lommel movie. It’s more like it had potential, but between bad acting and a premise that falls apart if you actually think about it, it just fails. A solid two out of five film.

Cats (2019)

Everything that needs to be said about Tom Hooper’s Cats has already been said, but that’s not going to stop me from adding my own two cents, pointing out some things I haven’t seen other people talk to death. The plot of Cats is… notoriously thin. Cats appear, sing about themselves, get kidnapped by Mr. Idris Elba, and at the end Ms. Jennifer Hudson is chosen to be reincarnated by the leader of the death cult. A tale as old as time, really. The movie adds some new elements, but I’m not all that familiar with the stage musical so I won’t open that can of worms. Now that we have the requisite “summary” out of the way, here are some of my notes.