The Descent: Part 2 (2009)

Happy Halloween! I know I usually do movie posts on weekdays, but today is a very special day. Not only is it my favorite holiday, but this is my 400th post! Not including "basic information" stuff, but still! My 100th post was Viktor un Viktoria because I wasn't paying attention, my 200th was Collateral Beauty back in January (#ReleaseTheChwinekaCut), and my 300th was Vampire Boys 2: The New Brood during Pride Month because I again wasn't paying attention. Now here we are with The Descent: Part 2, which you probably figured was a sequel to The Descent, a movie I reviewed last Halloween. The original is one of my favorite movies and an amazing horror film. So by ensuring that the 400th post synced up with the spookiest day of the year, you'd think that its sequel is equally deserving of praise. Nope! This is a piece of shit and I hate it!

Hellraiser: Judgment (2018)

All things must come to an end, and both the Hellbound Halloween event and the Hellraiser franchise count as part of "all things." I've covered 9 movies about Hell and Pinhead (with a brief interlude of other stories by Mr. Clive Barker), and Hellraiser: Judgment is the last. It's a bit of an over-exaggeration to say that the quality of the franchise decreased with every sequel, but the last half is more bad than good. Gary J Tunnicliffe--who also directed Hellraiser: Revelations--wanted to make a really good entry, and he ended up with two of the worst. Kind of like how Simon Kinberg wrote both X-Men: The Last Stand and X-Men: Dark Phoenix! Nerd burn!

When They Cry: Kai – Season 2, Episodes 2-5

It's time once again to talk about Higurashi no Naku Koro ni: Kai, AKA When They Cry: Kai, the second season/series. We've learned a bit about the time loops the main characters seem to be stuck in, but so many questions still remain. We know that one girl in the friend group--Rika Furude--is keenly aware she's trapped in these loops, remembering each and every one. What does it all mean? Why is the village of Hinamizawa trapped in this unending loop of misery and death? This arc, Disaster Awakening, does not answer those questions at all, but it does provide us some new answers! And also more questions. So many more questions...

Nightbreed (1990)

Welcome back to the Hellbound Halloween and the first film in sort of interlude. See, the last two films in the Hellraiser franchise are their own kind of bad, so I need to take a short break before wrapping this all up with them. But that gave me an opportunity to check out some of Mr. Clive Barker's other films that are tangentially related to the Hellraiser series, starting with 1990's Nightbreed.

Hellraiser: Inferno (2000)

Whoa! We're halfway there! The Hellbound Halloween continues with the fifth movie in the Hellraiser franchise, Hellraiser: Inferno. This is the first film in the series not to be released in theaters, and also the first where it's really, really obvious that this was originally an unrelated script before the cenobites were tacked on. As a result the execution is... polarizing. It's a very strange movie, but I think I can safely say it's the best Silent Hill film yet!

Cool as Ice (1991)

Mr. Vanilla Ice was never actually cool, right? All I really know about him is that he did "Ninja Rap" for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, he copied the baseline in "Ice Ice Baby" from Queen's "Under Pressure," and he has an enormous dick. Allegedly. I think he's more meme than man today, but was he ever actually popular to the masses? Apparently not movie audiences if the failure of Cool as Ice is any indication.

Remember Me (2010)

Sometimes one particular moment stands out in a movie and that's all you remember. When I think the movie Plankton, it takes me a moment to remember the "plot" as I'm immediately focusing on the scene where one girl has caviar oozing out of her vagina as she shouts to the eggs that Mommy loves them. This is also the case with Remember Me, a movie starring Mr. Robert Pattinson that came out in the middle of the Twilight franchise. Before I watched this movie for the third time for this post, I couldn't remember any plot details other than the twist ending where Pattinson dies in the Twin Towers on 9/11.

Swamp Shark (2011)

My celebration of Shark Week continues, now officially one month late as of today! I'm continuing on partly because this was all planned ahead of time and partially out of spite. Going by the listing on the back of the "Shark Bait: 6 Killer shark Films" DVD case I've been pulling movies from, today would be Santa Jaws, but I'm saving that one for Christmas. The gay kid from Joe Bell manifesting a Santa hat wearing nightmare shark? Sounds hilarious! But that means today I'm stuck watching Swamp Shark. It's not the worst shark movie I've seen, but it's far from the best. It's the only film in this pack that's available on Tubi, so that says something.

Fear Street: 1666 (2021)

I did it! I actually took the time to reread The Fear Street Saga books! And it's a good thing I did, because the parallels between that trilogy of books and this trilogy of movies are... uh... Okay, so there's next to no connection and I can't get too excited about reading a novella written for teenagers, but still. Back to the topic on hand, Fear Street: 1666 ties all the threads from Fear Street: 1994 and Fear Street: 1978 together, revealing the truth behind all the bad things that happen in Shadyside. And I'm going to talk around that as this is a mostly spoiler free review. Yup, being super inconsistent about that with this trilogy.

Wer (2013)

Don't you hate it when a movie gets spoiled by its trailer? I can't even begin to count the number of films where I watched the trailer and thought, "Well that's got to be 90% of the plot." Which brings me to Wer, a movie that makes you wonder whether the antagonist is actually supernatural or not, while the trailer flat out says, yeah, he's a werewolf.