The Final Girls (2015)

Do you ever think about "what if" situations for movies? Like, Actor A was in the film, but Actor B auditioned for the role, so what would the movie look like if it starred Actor B instead? I like to have fun thinking like that sometimes, usually substituting whatever actor for Nic Cage because that's just a recipe for hilarity. But sometimes these hypotheticals would lead to a much worse movie, like if New Line Cinema had their way with the horror comedy The Final Girls.

Beginners (2010)

It's that time again! The list of movies I've mentioned--but haven't reviewed on the blog--is getting larger and larger, and I feel this equally large sense of shame at not chipping away at it. So let's roll the digital equivalent of a 312-sided die and see what we get! And today's movie is... nope, I said no more superhero movies this month, so let's reroll. Trying again... we get Beginners? A vaguely queer, indie romantic "comedy" starring Mr. Christopher Plummer and Ewan McGregor? How the fuck did that get on the list again? Ah, right, I watched The Conspiracy of Fear in honor of Mr. Plummer's death and mentioned that this was one of his more recognizable films. Okay, sure, I guess we're doing this!

When They Cry, Season 1: Episodes 16-21

The first four chapters in Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, AKA When They Cry, are referred to as "question arcs." I think it's a great name because I have a whole bunch of questions as to what the fuck is going on. But now we've entered the so-called "answers arcs." I went into the Eye Opening arc completely unprepared for what I was about to see and learn, thinking it was going to follow the pattern I had assumed was there based on the question arcs. Is every question answered? Absolutely not, but I learned enough new things that I realized I've been working on some faulty logic about what's really going on here. This arc is six episodes, so this'll run a little long!

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Season 1: Episode 5

This week's episode of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is a bit more laid back than the rest of the series with some frank discussions about America's institutionalized racism, so I could see how some people would not like it. They're wrong, but still. We get a lot of character development as well as a new character who has a... complicated history in the comics. So let's get straight to it and talk about the fifth episode, "Truth."

Almighty Thor (2011)

I've talked about this before, but The Asylum is a film company known for ridiculous movies like Sharknado and a ridiculous amount of knock-offs. Mockbusters, if you will. Back in 2005, Blockbuster--remember when that was relevant?--accidentally ordered 100,000 copies of HG Wells' War of the Worlds instead of the Stephen Spielberg film that came out the same year, War of the Worlds. From there the company just went wild, creating knockoffs like Atlantic Rim, Sunday School Musical, and in this particular case, Almight Thor to go up against Marvel's Thor. The God of Thunder is technically in the public domain, so why not!

Wer (2013)

Don't you hate it when a movie gets spoiled by its trailer? I can't even begin to count the number of films where I watched the trailer and thought, "Well that's got to be 90% of the plot." Which brings me to Wer, a movie that makes you wonder whether the antagonist is actually supernatural or not, while the trailer flat out says, yeah, he's a werewolf.

When They Cry, Season 1: Episodes 14-15

When we last left Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, AKA When They Cry, it was one of the more depressing things I've ever seen. Well, at least in anime form (but to be fair I haven't seen Grave of the Fireflies). Satoko's personal life is just a never-ending parade of misery, which makes her so far not dying at the end of these arcs (unless everyone in the town dies) sort of a mixed blessing. But the pattern of the show means this arc is about Rika, the other young girl who doesn't deserve this shit. What kind of story can be wrapped up in two episodes? Why, it's time for a flashback!

It Waits (2005)

Is it weird to say that I missed watching bad movies? Probably, but back when I could safely have people over at my place (what seems like a hundred years ago), bad movies were the staple of Movie Night. We'd sit around and riff on them, finding enjoyment more through our own senses of humor than whatever lame thing was on the screen. But I watched this alone, with only my growing disappointment as company. I swear we watched It Waits a decade ago--literally this time--but all I could remember was hating a parrot? Turns out that's all that's memorable about this direct-to-DVD flick.