Iron Man 2 (2010)

With Iron Man 2, the ball is rolling on the Marvel Cinematic Universe, just like the ball that is MCU March! Gotta mention the event in ever post, no matter how awkward! Marvel Studios had achieved success with Mr. Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man, and The Incredible Hulk did decently with a Tony Stark cameo linking the movies together. The road to the The Avengers continues in this movie by adding a new recurring character and giving a new face/actor to an existing one.

Feast III: The Happy Finish (2009)

All good things must come to an end, and this is especially true of so-so things. Feast was a fun romp, Feast II: Sloppy Seconds overstayed its welcome, and now we have Feast III: The Happy Finish. Is that a sex thing? I immediately think "happy ending," but that would indicate that someone makes it out of this franchise unscathed. Urban Dictionary says it's a handjob thing, so I'm going with that interpretation. And with that lovely mental image, let's finish this.

Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)

Let's finish off a month of the worst movies ever with a classic. I gotta say, after falling in love with B-movie parodies like The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, I had to keep reminding myself that Plan 9 from Outer Space was absolutely sincere. I mean, assuming the film Ed Wood is to be believed, but that's a key ingredient in making a cult classic. Sincerity in ineptitude is what separates the men from the boys, and Birdemic: Shock and Terror from something like Taintlight.

Children of the Corn: Runaway (2018)

And here we are at last: October of the Corn has reached the final movie of the Children of the Corn franchise. I mean, at least for now as even coronavirus apparently can't stop the upcoming reboot. But Children of the Corn: Runaway is an interesting one as it's a sequel to 2009's Children of the Corn made-for-TV reboot, but made after Children of the Corn: Genesis, which by all accounts appears to be in the original continuity. Then again, if Scorpion King: Book of Souls can come out after Tom Cruise rebooted The Mummy, the sky's the limit! Enough faffing about, let's finish this franchise.

The Monster Project (2017)

I want to give this movie some credit: while a lot of found footage movies are incredibly cheap, The Monster Project had a budget for its monsters. I've absolutely seen worse effects in other movies, and the creatures here didn't look like ass. The problem is that this movie is really, really proud of its monsters. It takes every opportunity--once things kick off at the halfway point--to show you them in action. But that becomes a problem, because the more you see clear shots of a creature, the less frightening it becomes. We become inured to it and can grow bored with it. And I know this feels more like a third paragraph thing rather than an intro, but I wanted to get that out of the way first.

Digging Up the Marrow (2015)

A monster's design can make or break a movie. There are countless times where I've been watching a movie and once the dreaded beast is shown to the audience it's... bad. Sometimes REALLY bad. So I want to start off by saying that the majority of the monsters in Digging Up the Marrow look great! It's just a shame that they couldn't be in something better.

The Scorpion King (2002)

The Brendan Fraser Mummy franchise is dead, but it's legacy lives on in the spinoff, The Scorpion King, and it's 4 direct-to-DVD sequels. Seriously, the fifth one came out two years ago. Having a spinoff of The Mummy Returns does make some sense as Mr. The Rock was only in that movie for about 4 minutes, and then sort of again at the end when his poorly rendered face is on the big scorpion monster. I mean, you got a popular wrestler before he became a big time movie star, and you barely feature him? No no no, he's got to have a film all his own!

The Breeding (2018)

The week of “movies I’ve been dragging my feet on watching” is wrapping up, so let's watching something that I was putting off because I knew it would make me uncomfortable! The premise of The Breeding is pretty simple: a white racist kidnaps a black gay man with the intention of torturing him until he submits to being a slave. Thank god this was written/directed by people of color, because if a white man was behind it I would cringe myself into oblivion. Based on that premise alone, I'm reiterating the warning at the top of the page: viewer discretion is advised, because sexual assault and racism against people of color is baked into the premise.