Sometimes one particular moment stands out in a movie and that's all you remember. When I think the movie Plankton, it takes me a moment to remember the "plot" as I'm immediately focusing on the scene where one girl has caviar oozing out of her vagina as she shouts to the eggs that Mommy loves them. This is also the case with Remember Me, a movie starring Mr. Robert Pattinson that came out in the middle of the Twilight franchise. Before I watched this movie for the third time for this post, I couldn't remember any plot details other than the twist ending where Pattinson dies in the Twin Towers on 9/11.
When I decided to review a bunch of queer movies in honor of Pride Month, I had two goals: to review The Matrix trilogy--the directors are trans sisters, so that's why I opened with the "or were made by queer creators" caveat--and to review Strapped, which is probably my favorite gay movie. It's a bit of an odd one, but did you really expect anything less from me by this point?
It's that time again! The list of movies I've mentioned--but haven't reviewed on the blog--is getting larger and larger, and I feel this equally large sense of shame at not chipping away at it. So let's roll the digital equivalent of a 312-sided die and see what we get! And today's movie is... nope, I said no more superhero movies this month, so let's reroll. Trying again... we get Beginners? A vaguely queer, indie romantic "comedy" starring Mr. Christopher Plummer and Ewan McGregor? How the fuck did that get on the list again? Ah, right, I watched The Conspiracy of Fear in honor of Mr. Plummer's death and mentioned that this was one of his more recognizable films. Okay, sure, I guess we're doing this!
With Iron Man 2, the ball is rolling on the Marvel Cinematic Universe, just like the ball that is MCU March! Gotta mention the event in ever post, no matter how awkward! Marvel Studios had achieved success with Mr. Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man, and The Incredible Hulk did decently with a Tony Stark cameo linking the movies together. The road to the The Avengers continues in this movie by adding a new recurring character and giving a new face/actor to an existing one.
How can I devote a month to some of the worst movies ever and not talk about Birdemic: Shock and Terror? I actually own this film (but it's also available on Tubi because of course it is) and somehow managed to not get around to it during the first year of this blog. But that oversight has now been remedied! Birdemic is infamous for being up there with The Room in terms of completely inept filmmaking. It boldly asks the question, "What if The Birds was mixed with An Inconvenient Truth with the worst CG birds you've ever seen?" It is, for lack of a better word, art.
I like movie monsters. Give me some nasty motherfucker with too many teeth and eyes that pierce into your soul and I'm a happy individual. One of my favorite monsters is the wendigo, an Ojibway evil spirit that pop culture has taken and claimed as it's own (seriously, they even show up in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic). But none of that really matters, because there is no wendigo in A Windigo Tale. There is a horrible monster that devoured the young members of their tribe, but it's more... metaphorical.
So what do we know about Mothman? Seen around Point Pleasant, West Virginia from 1966-67, it would swoop down and stare at people with its glowing red eyes. Generally described as a tall gray shape with no discernible head and giant wings, its sightings seemingly stopped after the December 15, 1967 Silver Bridge disaster that killed 46 people. And depending on where you go on the internet, it's the loving monster boyfriend to many. Mothman is an iconic cryptid, so it's such a shame that so many movies about it fucking suck.
I know I complained about it in the Paranormal Investigation post, but man, movies about ghosts with absolutely no special effects suck. I guess it can rarely work--The Blair Witch Project, while not about a ghost per say, has no special effects and is amazing--but no effects AND a complete lack of effort a bad movie make. Throw in a title like Cold Creepy Feeling--sometimes called Cold Creepy Feeling: Paranormal Exorcism for unknown reason--and we have a hat trick of suck.
We’re back with another Mega Shark movie in honor of Shark Week! Our fearsome foe somehow survived his battle with the giant octopus and is back to eat crocodile eggs and kick ass, and he’s running out of croc eggs. There’s a lot wrong with this movie, so let’s jump right in.
I'm not entirely sure why I love Jason Todd, AKA the Red Hood so much. I was too young to remember when he died and only really knew of him through the (now dated) idea, "No one stays dead in comics except Bucky Barnes, Jason Todd, and Uncle Ben." Well, at least that's still true of Uncle Ben! I mean, discounting alternate reality versions that have popped over to the main Marvel continuity from time to time.