Oh man, it's been a minute. Remember back when I would occasionally talk about TV shows? I mean sure, I did wrap up Centaurworld after coming back from my hiatus, but it's been a year since I last talked about Arrow. Similar to how my work schedule has made it hard to watch movies while giving me time to read comics on the clock, squeezing in a 42 minute TV episode isn't too difficult. And so I'm continuing my coverage of the expansive Arrowverse! But first, a recap of season 1.
Mr. Ken del Vecchio is a bad man. His politics sucks, his writing sucks, his acting sucks, and the fact that he forces his kid into his movies sucks. Joker's Poltergeist was in very poor taste, A Karate Christmas Miracle, was baffling, and A Wrestling Christmas Miracle was so, so boring. The others may be worse to some people, but this was the bottom of the barrel for me.
The last episode of Hawkeye ended on a shocking cliffhanger, or at least shocking for people who are bad at predicting plot twists. Now that we've reached the final episode, the question becomes: will everything get wrapped up? And the answer is... mostly? I have few complaints. An extra 15 minutes certainly didn't hurt.
We are in the final stretch of Hawkeye episodes, and already the latest episode, "Ronin," has alleviated some of the concerns I voiced last time. I'd explain more, but this is the intro paragraph where I try to keep spoilers to a minimum because this doubles as the page preview. So let's cut the crap and jump right in!
The latest episode of Hawkeye, "Partners, Am I Right?" has me wondering where this limited series is going. With four episodes down, we only have two left and so much is happening that I'm concerned that this series isn't going to wrap it all up. But before I get all doom and gloom about what might happen, let's talk about what actually did happen in this week's episode.
I think I've made it fairly clear by now that I watch some absolute garbage. I see a premise that sounds stupid as shit and think to myself, "Oh, I can't not watch that." Most of the time such trash is amusing in some way. Maybe it's actually sometimes funny like House Shark. Maybe it's so awful in every way that you can't help but laugh like A Talking Cat!?!. But sometimes, when fate is feeling spiteful, I watch something that's just so aggressively bland, it hurts my soul. Welcome to me talking about Elf-Man, a movie where Hornswoggle from WWE Wee Man from Jackass plays a Christmas elf superhero.
Another week means another episode of Hawkeye, the latest Disney+ Marvel Cinematic Universe show. Last time, Hawkeye (Clint Barton) and Hawkeye (Kate Bishop) indulged their disaster-prone tendencies while trying to get back a costume he murdered a bunch of people in (Clint) and trying to find out if your future step-dad, Jack Duquesne, is a murderer (Kate). The ended up getting captured by the Tracksuit Mafia, which is led by... well, let's dive into who is Maya Lopez (Ms. Alaqua Cox).
Now wait, you might be saying to yourself. Didn't he already cover this? Well, yes and no. Yes, I started this week with a post on the 1920 silent film The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. But no, today's post is on the 2005 remake that I can't absolutely confirm is a shot-for-shot remake, but it's the exact same movie. Except the characters now talk. A lot. And it's not good.
One of my goals for 2022 is to cover more franchises on the blog. Outside of events, most of what I do are stand-alone movies and that has not been conducive to clearing out my list of "movies I've mentioned on the blog but haven't covered yet." But it's never too early to start a project, so let's have a mini event this week, starting with the horror classic, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari! What's the theme? All in good time...
I don't want to come off as some sort of movie snob or purist. There are many different ways to tell a story, and sticking to a rigid structure is not always the best course of action. Case in point, Hellraiser: Inferno was a detective mystery that had some Hellish aspects, and I think it worked. But I guess Miramax thought they could try the same formula and create another interesting movie out of a script previously unrelated to the franchise. But no. Hellraiser: Hellseeker sucks and I hate it. Welcome back to the Hellbound Halloween. We're officially in the bad half of the franchise.