The Conspiracy of Fear (1995)

On Friday the world lost a legend as actor Mr. Christopher Plummer died. He was in many well loved films, ranging from his Academy Award winning performance in Beginners, to his relatively minor but vital role in Knives Out, to his iconic (on Twitter, at least) moment of ripping up a Nazi flag in The … Continue reading The Conspiracy of Fear (1995)

The Ridiculous 6 (2015)

This was not the movie I intended to talk about today. See, in preparing for a month dedicated to the worst movies ever, I collected a bunch of links to visit later. One was for a movie called Daniel der Zauberer, AKA Daniel the Wizard, the #18 movie (as of writing) on the IMDB Bottom 100 and a film directed by my nemesis, Mr. Ulli Lommel (no I will never shut up about Diary of a Cannibal). It's a German film but it has to have subtitles, right? Well after spending $3 to rent it on Vimeo, turns out it did not have subtitles. And I couldn't find it anywhere else on the internet. Since I was annoyed and didn't want to spend any more money, I scrambled for a replacement. Just about every list talking about the worst movies on Netflix mentioned the Adam Sandler movie The Ridiculous 6, a vague parody of The Magnificent Seven, so that's... a thing we're doing now.

Suicide Squad (2016)

Suicide Squad--not to be confused with The Suicide Squad, the upcoming reboot/sequel--is a victim of January's theme of "worst movies ever" because someone on Facebook named it. Personally, I don't think it's even the worst of the DC Extended Universe, but nobody named Batman Vee Superman Colon Dawn of Justice or Justice League. I'll get to those eventually, but today we talk about a movie done dirty by bad editing (although its lackluster story didn't help).

Possessor (2020)

Sure, I could spend all of January pulling movies straight from the IMDB Bottom 100 and call it a day. Month. Whatever. But things like "bad" and "worst ever" are incredibly subjective. What you think is awful could be another person's favorite movie. As an example, Diary of a Cannibal--the worst movie I have ever seen and no I will never shut up about that--has reviews on IMDB giving it an 8 and a 10. Are these people deranged? Probably, but you get the idea. So while Possessor has been on several "best of 2020" lists, one anonymous person on Letterboxd said, and I quote, "One of the worst movies we have ever seen." Flimsy justification on my part to watch a good movie during this month, but someone said it was the worst! So here we are!

Fatman (2020)

My dear readers, when I heard that there was going to be a movie featuring Mr. Mel "Sugar Tits" Gibson as Santa Claus, I got excited. And Walton Goggins (the other, other villain of The Ant-Man and the Wasp) was going to be an assassin hired to kill him? And the person who hired him was a child pissed off that he got coal? Holy shit, this sounds amazing! An action comedy about trying to murder Santa! What could go wrong? Well, for starters, calling this movie a "comedy" would suggest that there are any jokes in it, of which there are none. And no joy, either. Humbug.

Mr. Right (2015)

I want to get something out of the way before we begin: No, Ian, this is not a sequel to 1996's Mr. Wrong, a film where a still closeted Ms. Ellen DeGeneres has to fend off the stalker Bill Pullman. I see what you did there, but no. What this movie is instead is... weird. Like, at the time of writing I don't have a "quirky" tag for the blog, but after this I'm giving it some seriously consideration.

Horns (2013)

I honestly don't know why I dragged my feet on this movie. Harry Potter grows horns and solves a murder, man! And it's based on a novel by Mr. Joe Hill, the pen name of Stephen King's son, whose last work I saw was In the Tall Grass (I'll get to you one day, Locke & Key). If I had taken the time to look at the cast I would've also been blown away by names I recognize: Joe Anderson (Across the Universe), James Remar (The Blackcoat's Daughter), Heather Graham (Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me), and more! It's almost like this movie was made for me! Just a shame about the weak points, though.

Feed (2005)

I'm gonna start this post with a "compliment sandwich." It's the thing where you sandwich your negativity between two pieces of positivity. Okay, so... This is a very well made movie; the story is engaging, the cinematography is on point, and I cannot say that this movie is bad. Next up, this is one of the most uncomfortable movies I have ever sat through, and watching it with other people is a recipe for awkward silence. And to wrap it up, the soundtrack is banging!