Queen: The Awakening (2020)

The letter Q vexes me. Not only is it associated with one of the most batshit political conspiracies AND is a nightmare in Scrabble--seriously, how hard would it be replace the tile with "Qu" and save everyone the hassle--but in the entire first year of this blog I never got around to reviewing a movie that started with Q. But I'm here today to solve two of these problems! The first is that "QI" is a recognized word in the official Scrabble dictionary with the definition, "The vital force that in Chinese thought is inherent in all things," in case your relatives call bullshit. The second is Queen: The Awakening, an low budget vampire movie that IMDB doesn't recognize as existing. But it's on Tubi and Letterboxd, so it counts!

Feast II: Sloppy Seconds (2008)

A good sequel ups the stakes of the original. If it has the same threat and energy level, then it's more of the same and begs the question, what's the point? Feast II: Sloppy Seconds takes the chaotic energy of Feast and absolutely raises it through more monsters, more bloodshed, and more dark comedy of questionable taste. This one has a bit more of a focus on story and characters than the previous one--although just barely--so a kill count would miss some... subtlety. Back to the regular review format, I guess!

Christmas Wedding Planner (2017)

I am a glutton for bad movies, and for better or worse my friends are well aware of this. So much so, in fact, that a dear friend needed me to check out this movie. Yes, needed. It seemed like your typical "Christmas romantic TV movie," but then I looked at the ratings. Wow! This is apparently one of the worst Christmas movies ever made? I ask because that's a bold claim. But does it live up to that...? I mean, it's no Red Christmas--where an aborted fetus all grown up named Cletus tries to kill his family--but this is very bad in a different, less overt way.

Children of the Corn (2009)

We are so close to finishing October of the Corn... And October too, but this spooky month doesn't exhaust me like these last few Children of the Corn movies do, and the remake to 1984's Children of the Corn is no exception. This film is far more faithful to the original short story, but at what cost? For me the cost is that it's an absolute slog to get through. So without further ado...

Children of the Corn: Revelation (2001)

Going through all these Children of the Corn movies for October of the Corn, we see that the movies so far have covered a lot of ground (or, as much ground as you can cover when the main focus is a creepy kid cult). We've had the cult be active in the modern day and also a relic of years past. We've had the setting be a corn field and also urban Chicago. We've had the cult led by children, and also an adult who happened to have once been one of those kid leaders. And now we come to Children of the Corn: Revelation, a movie about the ghosts of the cult haunting... an apartment complex. Man, moments like this really hammer home that this is no one's favorite franchise.

Children of the Corn: The Gathering (1996)

Welcome back to October of the Corn! Today we're talking about Children of the Corn: The Gathering (the "IV" on the poster and generally accepted title doesn't appear in the movie), the most forgettable one in the entire franchise. Pretty impressive, right? Fields of Terror has the kid who looks like an Oriental shorthair cat; Isaac's Return has the return of Isaac (naturally); Revelation has the weird hotel; Genesis is the one in California without any corn; and the reboot and Runaway are dumb but have at least one or two things about them that I remember. I mean, fuck, this is the one that has the sex offender from Glee and even that didn't leave any sort of lasting impact on my brain! Don't worry, I'm not spending any more time on him.

Mothman (2010)

So what do we know about Mothman? Seen around Point Pleasant, West Virginia from 1966-67, it would swoop down and stare at people with its glowing red eyes. Generally described as a tall gray shape with no discernible head and giant wings, its sightings seemingly stopped after the December 15, 1967 Silver Bridge disaster that killed 46 people. And depending on where you go on the internet, it's the loving monster boyfriend to many. Mothman is an iconic cryptid, so it's such a shame that so many movies about it fucking suck.