When I first saw the trailer for Joe Bell, I thought to myself, "What kind of hetero nonsense is this?" It told too much of the story: a young gay man kills himself, and his father feels really bad about it. I joked that the real title should be A is for Ally and just assumed that it would be a movie that would make my eyes roll. But oh, dear reader, I was wrong. This movie pissed me the FUCK off.
Who has two thumbs and survived the worst heatwave to hit the Pacific Northwest in recorded history? This guy! Anyway, Pride Month is almost over and there was one last thing I wanted to do in honor of it: watch Freier Fall, AKA Free Fall. It's a German film from 2013 about two men who fall in love, but society is against them. Sound familiar and a little... overplayed? Sure does to me!
I love my friends, I really do. When I asked around about what people thought was the worst movie they'd ever seen I got some of the usual suspects, but enough of my friends are fucking weirdos like me that I got a few rare cuts as well. One of them was Taintlight, a cheap and ugly parody of Twilight (a movie I have now mentioned on this blog 6 times so I'm now contractually obligated to cover it before the new year is over). How ugly? Well...
Is there a recognized subgenre of movies called something like "The Room, but X" or am I breaking new ground? Either way, it's been too hetero during this month of some of the worst movies ever made, so let's watch The Room, but gay! Yes, even gay directors can make movies that are so bad and boring that I long for the sweet release of death while suffering through them. Equality!
A game I like to play with my friends is "Actually, You Do Know What This Is." It's where I show someone a the full context of a meme's origin. For example, odds are you don't know Sunstroke Project or Sergey Stepanov by name, but he's the internet's favorite Epic Sax Guy (the song is called "Run Away," by the way, and it slaps). The reason I bring this up is because The Gay Deceivers is a completely forgettable movie except for the only decent actor giving an amazing line: "I may not know my flowers, but I know a BITCH when I see one!" Yup, this is that movie.