Saying you're not a fan of Mr. M Night Shyamalan's later work is a pretty basic opinion these days. No one enjoyed The Last Airbender; and while The Happening is generally pointed to as his worst film, I will go to my grave saying Lady in the Water is objectively worse. So I did not have high hopes for Old when I first heard about it. And now that I've seen it, I can say that it's another disappointment from a man who had so much potential. What a twist.
sci-fi
Highlander (1986)
Some movies become so ingrained in the cultural collective that we almost forget they're a movie. Like, my friend had never seen Highlander and knew next to nothing about it, but even he had heard, "There can only be one." But Highlander is indeed a movie, and one I hadn't seen in something like two decades, so I figured it was time to rewatch it. And it was totally worth it, if no other reason than I got to see goth biker Mr. Clancy Brown. You can see it, but I'm swooning.
Twisted Pair (2018)
I honestly don't know what to say about this movie. Neil Breen is an auteur with a specific vision on the merging of humanity and advanced technology, and he wants to share that vision with us. Doesn't matter that he's an awful filmmaker and his movies are utterly incomprehensible, I guess.
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
COVID fucked up a lot of stuff. Case in point, Marvel celebrated the release of Thor: Love and Thunder because that meant they had finally caught up with all the projects announced at San Diego Comic Con 2019 (that had a release date). November 5, 2021? Whoopsie! But it's here now, and it's getting... very mixed reviews. And I kind of agree. To an extent, at least.
Life (2017)
I will never not be amazed at how some movies just... sneak past me. Like sure, movies come out all the time and sometimes I'm just not paying attention, but how did a movie from 5 years ago starring Mr. Jake Gyllenhaal and Mr. Ryan Reynolds slip by? And it's a sci-fi horror? This feels like an intentional slight and I will not stand for it.
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
I've wanted to get a tattoo for ages now--don't worry, this will eventually tie in. My main problem is that I haven't come up with an idea worth the time and money to get it permanently put on my body. They say you should sit on a tattoo idea for a while before pulling the trigger, and the only ideas I've held onto that long are comic references. Like, Lantern Corps symbols from Green Lantern, or something X-Men related. Hell, Cyclops' visor could be cool. But I can't bring myself to get a tattoo of a property I have absolutely no say over how the story goes, in part because you never know when your favorite character might become a monster. Like, imagine getting a Daenerys Targaryen tattoo--or naming your daughter after her--and then seeing how her story ends in Game of Thrones. And on that note...
Morbius (2022)
I'd say it feels good to be back, but really it's just good to have an outlet for all the dumb shit I want to say. Morbius is a perfect target, because it's a buckwild film. I get what they were trying to do, but... the movie's a mess from top to bottom. For the last 20 years, there's apparently been some intern at Sony who really, really wants to make a Sinister Six movie and people keep letting him throw in story seeds, but apparently no one has the heart to tell him they all suck.
When They Cry: Kai – Season 2, Episode 1
Welcome back to the ongoing recaps of Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, AKA When They Cry! I had a slight hiccup in the schedule, but I've got the series all sorted out now up to season 3 thanks to a blu-ray collection! Just never ask me how much money I've sunk into this blog or I will cry. Anyway, after the Cat Killing Chapter special episode we are now officially in the second season, When They Cry: Kai, with "Kai" translating to something like "Solution." This series/season has a new opening in addition to a new name, and hopefully some new answers to all the questions I have after the first series/season. What kind of questions? What a great segue into a recap!
What If…? – Season 1, Episode 9
So you might notice that I have not ascended to godhood. While I did correctly guess that What If...?'s eighth episode would be titled "What If Ultron Won?" I was wrong about the title of the final episode. It's actually titled "What If the Watcher Broke His Oath?" which is definitely a better title, so I'll take that loss. Everything in the first season has been leading up to this moment, as well as something in the second season! Let's wrap this up!
What If…? – Season 1, Episode 8
I fuckin' called it! Hell yeah! Sure, we all pretty much knew what this episode would be about, but I got the title exactly right! Granted, the number of titles it could've had was limited. But still! "What If Ultron Won?" is the name of this episode, and I got it exactly right last time. Now, if next week's finale is titled “What If It Took a Multiverse to Save the Multiverse?” then I shall transcend the mortal plane and become a god.
Chwineka Watches 