A lot of What If...? comic stories are total downers. A bunch of real bummer buzzkills, bro! But why can't everything just be chill for once? Sometimes it's just nice to have an alternate reality that doesn't harsh my vibe. I'm running out of incredibly dated slang, but the gist is that "What If Thor Was an Only Child?" is essentially a frat bro comedy about Earth's biggest party ever, and the party poopers who are ready to nuke the site from orbit.
Hey look! It's me not falling behind on stuff! That's right, we're back with the final three episodes in the Student Council Saga for Shōjo Kakumei Utena, AKA Revolutionary Girl Utena. It's been a wild ride of Utena fighting to protect Anthy from the school's student council, who want Anthy for just about every wrong reason imaginable. The time has come for student council president Touga Kiryuu to make enact his plan against our hero, and oh what a plan it is.
Mr. Vanilla Ice was never actually cool, right? All I really know about him is that he did "Ninja Rap" for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, he copied the baseline in "Ice Ice Baby" from Queen's "Under Pressure," and he has an enormous dick. Allegedly. I think he's more meme than man today, but was he ever actually popular to the masses? Apparently not movie audiences if the failure of Cool as Ice is any indication.
Sometimes one particular moment stands out in a movie and that's all you remember. When I think the movie Plankton, it takes me a moment to remember the "plot" as I'm immediately focusing on the scene where one girl has caviar oozing out of her vagina as she shouts to the eggs that Mommy loves them. This is also the case with Remember Me, a movie starring Mr. Robert Pattinson that came out in the middle of the Twilight franchise. Before I watched this movie for the third time for this post, I couldn't remember any plot details other than the twist ending where Pattinson dies in the Twin Towers on 9/11.
So, uh... hi. How have you been? It's been a while, yeah? August was a shitty month for reasons I don't want to get into and it messed up my posting schedule to the point that I dropped Sunday posts about Shōjo Kakumei Utena, AKA Revolutionary Girl Utena. But we're back up and running! I still have my friend's my very own Funimation account, so let's dive back into Utena Tenjou fighting for the honor--and ownership--of Anthy Himemiya, the character with the darkest skin in the series. Don't think about that too much.
We are six movies into this damned franchise. The series has gone on so long that this film is a reboot, showcasing a completely different dog with the same name and behaviors. Why did I do this to myself? The inevitable plan for reviewing all 14 Air Bud and Air Buddies movies is to cover them once a week, so why did I think marathoning Beethoven movies would be a good idea? I'm going to finish this--mostly out of spite--but then no more animal themed movies until at least November. Except maybe Pig.
We've reached the end of Shark Week (or at least the version I planned back before they changed the date to July). But wait, you might say, I saw the title of today's movie, and that doesn't appear to involve sharks. And you're right! Alligator Alley--sometimes known as the infinitely better name Ragin' Cajun Redneck Gators--has absolutely no sharks in it. However, in the "Shark Bait: 6 Killer Shark Films" DVD collection, this is covered under "Plus a BONUS 7th BITE to sink your teeth into." Yup, this DVD 6 pack actually had 7 movies. What a twist!
You know what time it is? It's Shark Week, mothertruckers! Time to celebrate that specific brand of fish with TV programs all about them, and for me it means watching some absolutely terrible shark-themed movies. Last year I celebrated by watching the Mega Shark franchise (released so far): Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark, and Mega Shark vs Kolossus. This year I'm covering most of the films on the "Shark Bait: 6 Killer Shark Film" DVD pack I picked up as an impulse buy ages ago. I've already covered Ghost Shark and am saving Santa Jaws for December, but that's still 5 movies on this pack to cover! I know the math doesn't add up, but trust me. Yup, Shark Week this year is going to be tight!
We're back at it again with more episodes of Shōjo Kakumei Utena, AKA Revolutionary Girl Utena! Last time we met several of our main characters, primarily Utena Tenjou and Anthy Himemiya. We saw Utena duel for possession of Anthy, something Utena finds very problematic, but the Student Council doesn't really agree as they want the revolutionary power that comes from being Anthy's fiancé. It's a weird show, but that's the 90's for you. So let's dive right in and meet the rest of the Student Council!
I will admit that I have trouble deciding what to review here. I want to find the right balance between the extremes of "no one has ever seen this movie" and "everyone has seen this movie." I don't always do that well, as is the case with today's film, Lost Lake, which has only one watch on Letterboxed: my own (this is also the case for A Windigo Tale, a story of the trauma residential schools do, which is... sadly always relevant). No one has heard of this movie! Why should I take the time to talk about it? Well, how else are people going to learn about the sheer madness that is the alternate--and true--ending of this film?