I know that one or two of you were expecting an X-Men: First Class review to happen this week, but I need a break from big budget franchises (not stopping Mummy Mondays though, sorry not sorry). Why watch movies that people have actually heard of when I can go back to talking about the weirdest shit no one but me cares about? Gotta stick to my brand! With that out of the way, today I'm talking about a movie I've mentioned previously on this blog: Honeymoon.
Ha ha HA!! You thought I’d be reviewing the X-Men First Class quadrilogy, didn’t you? First of all, I’m gonna review the Wolverine movies first, but more importantly it’s Shark Week! And while reviewing the Jaws quadrilogy was an option, Tubi had all 4 Mega Shark movies for free. So here we are, watching yet another bad Asylum film. Quite possibly more in my wheelhouse than watching comic book movies.
People who know me in real life know that I am 100% a cat person. Up until the death of my previous cat, I couldn’t remember a time where I didn’t have at least one fuzzball in my life. In fact, as I am writing this sentence, I have one (Willow) in my lap wondering why I’m ignoring her while she’s being so cute, and another (Xander) is thankfully silent, sleeping on the floor and waiting for me to go to bed. So when I saw that Netflix was coming out with a cat-themed anime movie, I was excited. And it’s more wholesome than the harem anime Nyan Koi!
And we have reached the last film in the Pioneers of Queer Cinema bundle! I really do recommend checking these films out, and I believe that the day I post this review (Friday, June 26th) is the last day all three are available. But when/if you purchase a movie you have between 5 and 10 days to watch it, depending on whether you pick an individual movie or the bundle. Okay, enough unpaid shilling, let’s talk about Michael, a the gay silent film of the trio.
And we’re back with the second film in the Pioneers of Queer Cinema bundle, Mädchen in Uniform, AKA Girls in Uniform. This is a very lady power movie: based on a play by a female writer, this has a female director and I’m pretty sure not a single man appears in the film. Very rare by today’s standards, but this was made in 1931 so I guess there’s another reason our current world sucks. Anyway…
Eagle-eyed readers may have noticed that there have been more reviews tagged “queer” than usual lately. That’s intentional and in honor of Pride month! There are no pride parades or celebrations I feel comfortable attending this year, so it’s down to watching a bunch of gay movies. And it turns out others have the same idea! My local indie theater is participating in Pioneers of Queer Cinema, showing a trio of very old queer films this month, and that’s our theme this week. We start with Viktor und Viktoria, the 1933 German musical that inspired the 1982 Mrs. Julie Andrews classic, Victor/Victoria.
Last time I talked about Cyrano de Bergerac, and as promised, today’s film is heavily inspired by it, albeit with a more modern skin. In The Half of It our Cyrano is an Asian, lesbian high school student named Ellie, our Roxanne is Aster, and our Christian is Paul. But in addition to the queer theme, I say this movie is better because the characters are more fleshed out and real, but also because Ellie doesn’t die in the throes of delirium.
Have you ever talked about a thing with someone, and while you’re describing it they go, “Oh yeah! That’s THIS THING!” And you’re like, “I’ll have to take your word for it, but sure”? It happened to me once when I was describing a mobile game and was told, “That’s just Candy Crush but with a Sailor Moon theme,” and it was the same with Cyrano de Bergerac. Yes, this is a super vague hint of what’s coming Wednesday, but first…
Revisiting movies I haven’t seen in a while is interesting. Well, at the very least it is for me. I get to compare what I remember with what I don’t, and if years have passed and I’ve changed as a person–even in small ways–I might even view it completely differently. Basically this is a long winded way of saying I used to think the movie was absolutely awful, and upon watching it again it’s still bad, but, like, bad in a normal sort of way.
I think we all knew that I would review The Room at some point. I own two copies of it because I lent a copy to a friend, forgot, bought a replacement, and then she gave it back. I’ve seen it well over two dozen times, both with the RiffTrax (the guys from MST3K providing an audio file you sync yourself) and without. I’ve read The Disaster Artist, the book Greg Sestero wrote about what a nightmare making the film was, and I’ve even seen the solid 3 out of 5 movie adaptation of that book. So I feel a bit of obligation to review this.