Tag: horror
“What’s your favorite scary movie?”
-Scream (1996)
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Girl on the Third Floor (2019)
I don’t actively seek out movies starring wrestlers, I swear. But who could say no to a horror movie starring Mr. CM Punk? Sure, he had left WWE by the time I started watching, but I’m always curious how wrestlers are outside of the ring, especially since they’re molded to be actors/performers.
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The Mummy’s Kiss (2003)
Dear reader, I want you to know that I have standards for this blog. Somewhat high standards! The kind of standards where once I find out that a movie I’m watching on Amazon dot com has been severely edited, I go out and search for the intact version. And for this movie, that happened to be Pornhub, so I guess my standards aren’t all that high…
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Housebound (2014)
I should come up with an official policy on how to tag movies with a twist that nullifies another tag. Like, spoilers for The Turning, but should I really have tagged the movie “ghosts” if the ending pretty conclusively says that she was crazy the whole time and there’s nothing supernatural happening? But the ghosts–or at least the concept of ghosts–is pretty crucial to the movie. And since the tags are listed at the top of the page, you might be seeing where I’m going with this.
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The Blackcoat’s Daughter (2015)
Hey, it’s Sabrina! No, not God’s Not Dead 2‘s Mrs. Melissa Joan Hart, but Chilling Adventures of Sabrina‘s Ms. Kiernan Shipka. Three years before the new Sabrina show and streaming on Netflix, dealing with her relationship with a devil… Hm, I wonder if the casting department saw this movie.
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Detention (2011)
I like describing this movie to people. I tell them about the time-travelling bear that was abducted by aliens, the Freaky Friday switch that also goes across time, a masked serial killer inspired by a lame movie starring “Moscow Hyatt,” a jock infused with fly blood, subdued Dane Cook… “Isn’t there detention in a movie called Detention?” Yeah yeah, I was getting to that.
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The Pyramid (2014)
Mummy Mondays are still on hold due to social distancing (we should be back on track next week), so this week I’m talking about The Pyramid, a movie that doesn’t actually have a mummy for the villain. I imagine The Scorpion King franchise is the same way, so it was going to happen at some point. Instead our villain is… Anubus. Like, the actual Egyptian, jackal-headed god of death. Well, that could be cool… TOO BAD IT IS NOT!
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The Endless (2017)
From an very, very outside perspective, I can kind of see the appeal of a cult. The world is especially shitty right now, and in my mind I don’t see it getting significantly better any time soon. A little too dark to start this post? Well I just recently got out of COVID-19 quarantine and then went right back to the filthy world of retail. If someone were to come to me and say that following them would make everything better… well, okay, I wouldn’t believe them because that sounds culty as fuck, but I’d be a little bit tempted.
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End of the Line (2007)
What is the difference between a cult and a religion? That’s actually a serious question and relevant to this movie. I created the “cults” tag because every so often there’s a movie where cultists try to sacrifice a young girl so that their demon god can enter our world (like you do), but for this movie the “cult” is explicitly Christian. Most likely a subdivision of Christianity, as I was raised Lutheran and don’t remember the pastor passing out dagger crosses and pagers so we could be alerted when the end of the world was happening. But like, are the…
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Diary of a Cannibal (2007)
FuuuUUUuuuUUUuuuUUUck this movie! Fuck it straight to hell! I hate it, I hate everyone who worked on it, I hate that it’s not the only Ulli Lommel movie I’ve seen, and I just hate every single aspect of it!
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Blood Freak (1972)
Many years ago, when I was a child-shaped entity, my father had a big book of movie reviews. Pretty sure it was VideoHound’s Golden Movie Retriever, or whatever it might have been called back then. Anyway, the book rated movies on a 0 to 4 scale with “bones” instead of “stars” and a noticeable “Woof!” for movies that got a 0. Being weird, I had looked up all the movies that started with the word “Blood,” and this woof of a review stood out. After reading the summary, I made it my goal in life to see this awful film.…
Chwineka Watches 