Detention (2011)

I like describing this movie to people. I tell them about the time-traveling bear that was abducted by aliens, the Freaky Friday switch that also goes across time, a masked serial killer inspired by a lame movie starring “Moscow Hyatt,” a jock infused with fly blood, subdued Dane Cook…

“Isn’t there detention in a movie called Detention?”

Yeah yeah, I was getting to that.

This is one of the movies that I point to when I say that more music video directors need to make movies (I also point to Spun and Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, so my tastes are all over the place). This movie is weird as shit, and I love it. My initial idea for this post would have just been a collection of my favorite quotes, but there are so many that it would’ve taken up the whole thing. Although there’s a special place in my heart for, “If your face hurts my fist, I will punch you again harder.”

This kind of defies easy categorization or description. We start with a girl who you instantly hate getting murdered, then we meet our real protagonist trying to kill herself (half-heartily, but she does a better job later with a noose). Her life sucks, the guy she likes is going to flunk out, the guy who likes her is gross, the killer is now after her, and her ex-best friend is actually that friend’s mom’s mind from 1992 transplanted into her daughter’s body in the present, while her daughter is in the mom’s body back in the 1990’s. And then it gets weirder.

So do I recommend this movie? Absolutely. It’s fun, self-referential in a way that shows that the writers don’t suck, and–again–weird as hell. Do I recommend Joseph Kahn’s other movies? Well… hm. Torque is dumb fun that you may kind of know because of the “Pepsi vs. Mountain Dew biker chick fight” that got semi-popular on the internet, but Bodied left me wondering if we were supposed to like literally anyone in it. I feel like his Power/Rangers short film is the ideal chaser for the film, followed by… I don’t know, “The Thong Song” just because it’s all the same director.


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4 thoughts on “Detention (2011)

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