Anticipation makes the heart grow fonder, or something like that. Back in 2020 when the plan was to go to a movie theater each week--you know, before the world ended--Antlers was a movie I was pumped to see. It's a mainstream wendigo movie! That's a cryptid I am inordinately fond of! And thankfully, the anticipation paid off better than The Lodge, because this movie is certainly passable.
drugs
♫ Smoke the marijuana / Sail the sea of sin / Reach a hot nirvana / Tremble from within ♫
-Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical (2005)
Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave (2005)
And so with what is effectively Return of the Living Dead V, this stupid franchise is over. Return of the Living Dead started off as a horror comedy that veered more towards teen horror in the later sequels. But what if we could have both? What if they made a zombie horror movie that's also a teen comedy? Too bad "teen comedy" in the mid 2000's meant lots of boobs and pot. What else was I expecting for October of the Living Dead...?
Hellraiser (2022)
Last year for October I watched all the Hellraiser films as part of The Hellbound Halloween. That's 10 movies about Pinhead and his fellow cenobites, with a brief break near the end because holy shit they somehow got progressively worse as time went on. So when I heard that the long-awaited Hellraiser reboot was dropping in October, I knew I had to talk about it. And so here we are on a Saturday while the weekdays are taken up by October of the Living Dead.
Blood Freak (2020)
I have no one to blame but myself. Not only did I willingly invited suffering into my life, but I sought it out. And all it cost me was a piece of my soul. And $13. Free shipping, though!
Banshee Chapter (2013)
You know that scene in Doctor Strange that the MCU has used a couple more times where the Ancient One punches Steven Strange's soul out of his body? Every so often I come across a movie that does something incredibly similar to me. I don't know how else to describe it beyond that; it's not necessarily bad, but it certainly kicks the metaphorical wind out of me and raises questions about what the hell is going on. Banshee Chapter has one of those moments when veteran actor Mr. Ted Levine playing a parody of Hunter S Thompson asks the lead character, "Have you ever read any HP Lovecraft?"
Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005)
Hellraiser: Hellworld is a real turning point in the Hellraiser franchise. Not only is it a bad movie in itself that was filmed back-to-back with Hellraiser: Deader, but it's also the last time that the incomparable Mr. Doug Bradley would play Pinhead. What a completely lackluster ending to such an iconic performance! It's actually a little sad, and exhausting in a way I can't really describe. I'm sure I'll figure out my feelings by the time we reach the end of this installment of the Hellbound Halloween.
Tag (2015)
Tag caught my attention the first time I read a summary of it and thought, "Holy shit, are they fucking serious?" Before I get to what made my jaw drop, I want to specify which Tag this actually is. It's not 2018's Tag about grown men playing a game of tag. It's not 1982's Tag: The Assassination Game with Linda Hamilton. It's not even 2015's Japanese Tag where heads explode. No, this is 2015's American Tag--or 2012, or 2014, or 2016 depending on which site you check--where McLovin gets sucked into one man's plan to spread HIV to as many people as possible.
Arrow – Season 1, Episodes 18-20
Remember when I talked about episodes of Arrow? It's understandable if you thought I had forgotten, since the last time was three weeks ago. But now that Loki is over I'll have to post something on Saturdays, so getting back into the groove and finishing off Arrow season 1 sounds like a pretty good idea. This batch of episodes introduces John Diggle's future wife as well as having two different love triangles involving Oliver, so let's warm up with a recap of the season so far!
Fear Street: 1994 (2021)
One thing this blog lacks (as of writing) is an "About the Author" page. I've thought about it multiple times and even have a draft saved, but so far nothing has felt quite right. Early on I even considered doing a series of posts where I explain my history with the horror genre: from AOL public domain stories posted around Halloween by some guy named "Lovecraft" to The Fear Street Saga, three books that told the history of the cursed town Shadyside. I even still have those books! Well, imagine my surprise when they announced a trilogy of Fear Street movies inspired by the book series of the same name. Hell, they even got Mrs. Leigh Janiak--the director of Honeymoon, one of my favorite movies--to direct all three! These movies were specifically made for me, which is a bit sad cause the first one was... it was fine. It's fine. It was fine.
Arrow – Season 1, Episodes 10-12
It's the weekend, which means more of me rambling about Arrow episodes! I know that June is Pride Month and the show at this point has little to no queer representation, but I'd already started this project before June and I'm reviewing queer movies on weekdays, so lemme have this little break. Last we saw, Oliver Queen got absolutely trounced by an assassin revealed (to us, not Oliver) to be Malcolm Merlyn, the first season's big bad. Where does this main plot go in these episodes? Not really anywhere super noteworthy, but that's the nature of long-running shows: not every episode can further the metaplot in a meaningful way.
Chwineka Watches 