I know I keep talking about it, but The Room is one of my favorite bad movies. Sure, it's awful in just about every way you would judge a film, but the whole thing is so bad it wraps back around to being enjoyable. It's a movie you want to watch with friends. #Horror, however, is bad in an exhausting way. It's not fun, it's not funny, and it's a chore to get through.
cautionary tale
“Failing this, the next tragedy may be that of your daughter. Or your son. Or yours, or yours… or yours!”
-Reefer Madness (1938)
Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical (2005)
Last time I talked about Reefer Madness, AKA Tell Your Children, so me talking about the parody right after shouldn't be a surprise. I mean, I flat out said it at the end, but anyway. Based on the 1998 stage musical, Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical was a Showtime original movie with a truly ridiculous cast. Mr. Alan Cumming (Nightcrawler in X2) as the narrator! And he was also FDR! Kristen Bell as Mary! Steven Weber as Jack, Anna Gasteyer as Mae, and John Kassir (AKA the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt, including Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight)! And... uh, Neve Campbell's older brother as Jimmy. Wait, he's a year older than her, but here plays a much younger character? Well that's news to me...
Reefer Madness (1938)
Do you know someone held captive in the seductive grip of marijuana? Sorry, I mean, "marihuana?" If so, you must do everything in your power to help your friend see the light before they're driven to mindless violence! And if that person happens to be you, then God have mercy on your soul... Or so Reefer Madness, AKA Tell Your Children would have you believe. Man, the makers of this film sound really uptight; if only there were a recreational substance that could help them relax...
Mazes and Monsters (1982)
We are currently living in a golden age for gamers. I’m talking the more “traditional games,” like role-playing games, board games, card games, miniature games, and the like. Sure, global instability has forced companies to increase their shipping rates to stay alive, sometimes to ludicrous degrees, but the market is wide enough that an incredibly niche game about bird watching sold so well that it’s out of print for, like, the third time since coming out in 2019! And Dungeons & Dragons is doing remarkably well at the moment, but that wasn’t always the case.
Blood Freak (1972)
Many years ago, when I was a child-shaped entity, my father had a big book of movie reviews. Pretty sure it was VideoHound’s Golden Movie Retriever, or whatever it might have been called back then. Anyway, the book rated movies on a 0 to 4 scale with “bones” instead of “stars” and a noticeable “Woof!” for movies that got a 0. Being weird, I had looked up all the movies that started with the word “Blood,” and this woof of a review stood out. After reading the summary, I made it my goal in life to see this awful film. Which brings us to now.
Chwineka Watches 