Beethoven’s Christmas Adventure (2011)

I think this little game has gone on long enough, don't you? Since I started reviewing all the Beethoven movies, I've been playing coy with how many films are actually in the franchise. For those keeping track this is the 7th film so far, and I'm happy to announce that this is the penultimate one. Yup, Beethoven's Treasure Tail is the 8th and final movie--as of time of writing--so we're so close to being done! I'm almost free from this self-imposed prison of having to rewatch these films! We just have to get through the one that decided it was time for Beethoven to talk.

Swamp Shark (2011)

My celebration of Shark Week continues, now officially one month late as of today! I'm continuing on partly because this was all planned ahead of time and partially out of spite. Going by the listing on the back of the "Shark Bait: 6 Killer shark Films" DVD case I've been pulling movies from, today would be Santa Jaws, but I'm saving that one for Christmas. The gay kid from Joe Bell manifesting a Santa hat wearing nightmare shark? Sounds hilarious! But that means today I'm stuck watching Swamp Shark. It's not the worst shark movie I've seen, but it's far from the best. It's the only film in this pack that's available on Tubi, so that says something.

My Life Me

Today's post was supposed to be about literally any other show. Now that I've finished the first season of Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, AKA When They Cry, the sky was the limit! Do I jump back into superhero shows with the first season of Arrow? Start on something I love like Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated? Or pull out something weird from my DVD collection like Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century? But no, while looking up... I honestly don't remember what, I discovered the existence of the Canadian cartoon My Life Me, and I haven't been able to get it out of my head ever since. Is it good? Not really, but it has a siren's song on my soul. So here we are, talking about a show I bet literally none of you have ever heard of. On brand for me, but still.

Almighty Thor (2011)

I've talked about this before, but The Asylum is a film company known for ridiculous movies like Sharknado and a ridiculous amount of knock-offs. Mockbusters, if you will. Back in 2005, Blockbuster--remember when that was relevant?--accidentally ordered 100,000 copies of HG Wells' War of the Worlds instead of the Stephen Spielberg film that came out the same year, War of the Worlds. From there the company just went wild, creating knockoffs like Atlantic Rim, Sunday School Musical, and in this particular case, Almight Thor to go up against Marvel's Thor. The God of Thunder is technically in the public domain, so why not!

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

With Captain America: The First Avenger, all 6 of the main Avengers have been introduced. Iron Man was introduced in Iron Man, Hulk in The Incredible Hulk, Black Widow in Iron Man 2, and both Thor and Hawkeye in Thor. All that's missing is the star-spangled man with a plan, leading us to this flashback movie. Welcome back to MCU March! Let's talk about the last movie leading up to The Avengers.

Thor (2011)

I gotta say, I absolutely love that MCU March lined up in such a perfect way that not only do the number of weekdays match the number of movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but also that the Thor post is going up on Thursday. Thor's Day? Get it?! Ah, we have fun here at Chwineka Watches... Anyway, let's talk about my favorite film of Marvel's Phase One.

Melancholia (2011)

The week of “movies I’ve been dragging my feet on watching” continues, this time with Melancholia. See, once upon a time I rented this for Movie Night, and we skipped it. We tried to watch it! But the first 8 and a half minutes are just a slow motion recap (precap?) of the movie, and it was so insufferable that we gave up. It’s been at the bottom of my “to watch” list ever since, and now I’ve decided the time has come to see it. But was it any good? Enh… parts of it.

Sucker Punch (2011)

Mr. Zack Snyder is… interesting. The visionary behind the new DC Cinematic Universe (at least until the reboot it), he’s an incredibly polarizing figure. It also doesn’t help that I really don’t like Batman Vee Superman Colon Dawn of Justice, I thought Justice League was a mess, and I still don’t believe that the impending Snyder Cut of Justice League will be any kind of improvement. But I don’t want my opinions on the man tainting my thoughts on Sucker Punch! There are enough minor quibbles I have with the movie that do that already.

Vampire Boys (2011)

Revisiting movies I haven’t seen in a while is interesting. Well, at the very least it is for me. I get to compare what I remember with what I don’t, and if years have passed and I’ve changed as a person–even in small ways–I might even view it completely differently. Basically this is a long winded way of saying I used to think the movie was absolutely awful, and upon watching it again it’s still bad, but, like, bad in a normal sort of way.

Detention (2011)

I like describing this movie to people. I tell them about the time-travelling bear that was abducted by aliens, the Freaky Friday switch that also goes across time, a masked serial killer inspired by a lame movie starring “Moscow Hyatt,” a jock infused with fly blood, subdued Dane Cook… “Isn’t there detention in a movie called Detention?” Yeah yeah, I was getting to that.