If I say that this was a highly requested movie, would you believe me? It's an obvious lie, of course, but it sounds better than admitting I wanted to watch this. Long story short, back in April of 2020 when we didn't realize how long the quarantine was going to be, Mummy Mondays was put on indefinite hold along with my friends' Movie Night. I watched several movies with mummies in the Mondays that followed, and one of them was The Mummy's Kiss, a lesbian porn with mummies and a flimsy plot. Well, there was a sequel made, so that's where we are now. Yup, this is definitely something people wanted to see and not my grim curiosity in action!
The Mummy (2017)
By my counting, Mummy Mondays should've ended on June 1st. This is assuming that coronavirus didn't upend just about everything, Movie Night was still meeting regularly, and that we wouldn't've missed a week. But coronavirus did happen and it took me months before I decided to finish up this series by myself. It's been a weird trip full of bad sequels and rare good moments, but with Mr. Tom Cruise's 2017 The Mummy, we can finally put this monster back in its tomb.
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)
Did you know that there was a third Mummy film starring Mr. Brendan Fraser? I'm pretty sure I didn't before starting Mummy Mondays. Released 7 years after The Mummy Returns and not directed by Stephen Sommers--the director of the first two films--this really does feel like an unnecessary addition just so it can be called a trilogy. Which is a bit of a shame because despite this film getting negative reviews, I didn't think it was that bad.
The Mummy Returns (2001)
I recently talked about the supposed trilogy pattern of "first is fine, second is superb, third is terrible," so it's interesting to watch a trilogy that breaks that pattern. 1999's The Mummy is a great movie that people love, while The Mummy Returns... exists.
The Mummy (1999)
Alright, now we’re cooking! It’s taken roughly 10,000 years, but we’ve reached The Mummy movies that people have actually heard of. Sure, it was nice to see what came before and the origins of characters/names Mr. Stephen Sommers pulled from, but we’ve had enough of these movies taking themselves seriously. Show me some Brendan Fraser scaring the villain off with a cat!
The Mummy’s Shroud (1967)
Mummy Mondays is continuing to shamble along, this week with the penultimate Mummy film from Hammer Horror: The Mummy’s Shroud! And like last week we’re changing up the formula a bit! Sure, the villain is still an incredibly slow, shambling corpse, but, like, this time he didn’t have an undead boner for a lady.
The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb (1964)
The theme this week is "movies I've been dragging my feet on watching." We start by opening the tomb of Mummy Mondays, an event that's been collecting dust since early March. Back before the coronavirus, I'd have people over at my house every Monday for Movie Night, a tradition we had been keeping for over a decade. But actually contracting the virus, social distancing, and high risk jobs have done what years couldn't do: Movie Night is on indefinite hold. I could've watched these Mummy movies by myself at any point, but it's the principle of it, you know? Reviewing this alone means I finally admit that I have no idea when we'll all get together again. But here this is, for better or worse. Mummy Mondays are back! Hooray...
The Mummy’s Kiss (2003)
Dear reader, I want you to know that I have standards for this blog. Somewhat high standards! The kind of standards where once I find out that a movie I’m watching on Amazon dot com has been severely edited, I go out and search for the intact version. And for this movie, that happened to be Pornhub, so I guess my standards aren’t all that high…
The All New Adventures of Laurel & Hardy in “For Love or Mummy” (1999)
Growing up, my grandfather loved Laurel and Hardy. He watched their shorts and movies all the time and even had a framed letter written by Stan Laurel. And Grandpa Bud would make us watch Laurel and Hardy with him most visits, so while I’m no expert, I do know about the comedy duo. And with that knowledge I can say that my grandfather would probably hate this.
Frankenstein vs. the Mummy (2015)
Mummy Mondays are on pause for at least a week due to coronavirus quarantine (we are in the darkest timeline), but to keep the mood alive I’m going to be watching The Mummy adjacent movies! This week it’s Frankenstein vs. the Mummy, a film that was way too long for what it was.