Don’t you love it when a sequel comes out and has practically no cast or crew in common with the original? I don’t! That’s how we get shit like American Psycho II: All American Girl, where a small child kills Patrick Bateman at the very beginning and the rest of the movie is Ms. Mila Kunis killing anyone in the way of her becoming Mr. William Shatner’s teaching assistant! Weird non-sequitur, right? We’ll come back to that…
And here we are, the last of the Burton/Schumacher tetralogy. I got a lot to say, so let’s jump right in.
So last review I complained about a rich capitalist ruining everything and being the true villain. I went hard on that because it's absolutely true and I should say it, but also because I was preparing myself for this movie, one where the studio executives were annoyed that Batman Returns didn't make as much money as they had hoped, and that merchandising was problematic with the Penguin being, you know, a mutant who drools black-green sludge. So here's something completely different: Batman Forever.
Yesterday's post was about the tragedy of a Robin killed by the Joker. But things could have been worse. Worse than death, some of you might be wondering? Well, yeah, I'd argue that what happened to Tim Drake, the third Robin, in this movie is worse than just being killed. With that in mind, let's talk about one of the darker Batman movies!
Many years ago, when I was a child-shaped entity, my father had a big book of movie reviews. Pretty sure it was VideoHound’s Golden Movie Retriever, or whatever it might have been called back then. Anyway, the book rated movies on a 0 to 4 scale with “bones” instead of “stars” and a noticeable “Woof!” for movies that got a 0. Being weird, I had looked up all the movies that started with the word “Blood,” and this woof of a review stood out. After reading the summary, I made it my goal in life to see this awful film. Which brings us to now.
Mummy Mondays are on pause for at least a week due to coronavirus quarantine (we are in the darkest timeline), but to keep the mood alive I’m going to be watching The Mummy adjacent movies! This week it’s Frankenstein vs. the Mummy, a film that was way too long for what it was.
Blumhouse Productions is kind of all over the place in terms of movie quality. On one hand they produced Fantasy Island and Glass, but on the other we get actual good films like Get Out and the latest adaptation of The Invisible Man.