Saying you're not a fan of Mr. M Night Shyamalan's later work is a pretty basic opinion these days. No one enjoyed The Last Airbender; and while The Happening is generally pointed to as his worst film, I will go to my grave saying Lady in the Water is objectively worse. So I did not have high hopes for Old when I first heard about it. And now that I've seen it, I can say that it's another disappointment from a man who had so much potential. What a twist.
“I have seen the devil in my microscope, and I have chained him.”
-The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)
Day of the Dead (1985)
I think it's fairly safe to assume most people haven't seen the majority of the Night of the Living Dead sequels, Dawn of the Dead being the exception. That's just kind of how it goes, right? Tell people the upcoming Hellraiser film is the 11th in the franchise and their eyes go wide. Even I haven't seen most of these zombie films before watching them for October of the Living Dead. But I found myself surprised at how much I liked Day of the Dead! The zombie costumes looked better, the pacing was better, and Bub was a precious cinnamon roll that I would die for. Who's that? Well...
Blood Freak (2020)
I have no one to blame but myself. Not only did I willingly invited suffering into my life, but I sought it out. And all it cost me was a piece of my soul. And $13. Free shipping, though!
I'd say it feels good to be back, but really it's just good to have an outlet for all the dumb shit I want to say. Morbius is a perfect target, because it's a buckwild film. I get what they were trying to do, but... the movie's a mess from top to bottom. For the last 20 years, there's apparently been some intern at Sony who really, really wants to make a Sinister Six movie and people keep letting him throw in story seeds, but apparently no one has the heart to tell him they all suck.
What If…? – Season 1, Episode 1
A few weeks have passed since Loki wrapped up, so it's about time for a new Disney+ Marvel Cinematic Universe show! But the formula is getting changed up a bit; instead of a series that overtly builds up to another show or movie (like WandaVision setting up Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness), What If...? is Marvel's version of The Twilight Zone. Taking its premise from the comic series of the same name, What If...? does exactly what its title suggests, asking what if the characters and events you know deviated from what was "supposed" to happen? In this particular case, "What If Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?"
Shark Island (2015)
My very own Shark Week continues! Sure, it's a month after the actual Shark Week, but the best laid plans of sharks and men, or something like that. I'm burning through the "Shark Bait: 6 Killer Shark Films" DVD collection and we're at the sixth film: Zombie Shark. Sorry, I mean Shark Island, even though everything on the DVD says that this movie should be called Zombie Shark. I guess they decided to go with the less provocative title since there's actually more than one undead shark in this film, but whatever.
Ozark Sharks (2016)
So I obviously missed Shark Week this year. It was supposed to happen in August during this week, but sometime around the end of June or beginning of July, it got rescheduled to July 11th. The problem was that well before that time I had already planned on what to review this week, so why would I think to double check when Shark Week was happening? So here were are, a month after the actual event, watching some absolutely awful SyFy Channel original shark movies. Well, at least Ozark Sharks wasn't as bad as Mississippi River Sharks.
Captain America: Civil War (2016)
This is a movie about division. An argument springs up that splits a group in two, pitting them against each other in a fight neither side can truly win. I'm talking of course about how my husband and I absolutely disagree about who was "right" in Captain America: Civil War, and it causes a lengthy discussion every time this movie gets brought up. Welcome back to MCU March! We're in the endgame towards Avengers: Endgame as the Marvel Cinematic Universe has officially entered Phase Three.
Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)
MCU March is still going strong! With Avengers: Age of Ultron we're just about at the halfway point of the franchise (thus far) and the end of Phase 2. I say "just about" because the actual mid-point (thus far) AND the actual end of Phase 2 both happen to be Ant-Man, but we'll get to that tomorrow. Today we watch Tony Stark continue to make the worst decisions possible!
Iron Man 3 (2013)
With The Avengers, the so-called Phase One of the Marvel Cinematic Universe came to a close. A group of heroes teamed up to save the world, and then went in separate directions because the actors are expensive and we can't have all of them cameoing up in every movie, no matter how much it would make sense that someone would show up when an teammate needs help. Oh, no, they're just doing some important thing off screen. Trust us! Welcome to Phase Two and welcome back to MCU March. Let's wrap up the Iron Man trilogy.