Tag: horror
“What’s your favorite scary movie?”
-Scream (1996)
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Suburban Gothic (2014)
As promised in the Excision post, today we’re talking about Suburban Gothic. Outside of Excision I have not actually seen anything featuring Mr. Matthew Gray Gubler. I didn’t get into Criminal Minds and the Alvin and the Chipmunks quadrilogy is reserved for a week when I just want to suffer. But I knew of him through memes, so I was excited to watch this. Add in Kat Dennings–now featured in WandaVision which I talk about the day after each new episode–and we have a recipe for a good time! It’s just a shame, then, that the movie was… fine. It’s…
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Excision (2012)
Time once again to pull from the list of movies I’ve referenced but haven’t reviewed, so let’s roll the equivalent of a 297-sided die! Yes, the number has grown from last time (The Phantom) because I cannot help myself. Anyway… #96! Hm, that’s the first of a trilogy and it would flow better if I did all three movies next week, so let’s roll again. #87! And that is… oh. Oh my. This is going to be a weird one.
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Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)
Let’s finish off a month of the worst movies ever with a classic. I gotta say, after falling in love with B-movie parodies like The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, I had to keep reminding myself that Plan 9 from Outer Space was absolutely sincere. I mean, assuming the film Ed Wood is to be believed, but that’s a key ingredient in making a cult classic. Sincerity in ineptitude is what separates the men from the boys, and Birdemic: Shock and Terror from something like Taintlight.
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Possessor (2020)
Sure, I could spend all of January pulling movies straight from the IMDB Bottom 100 and call it a day. Month. Whatever. But things like “bad” and “worst ever” are incredibly subjective. What you think is awful could be another person’s favorite movie. As an example, Diary of a Cannibal–the worst movie I have ever seen and no I will never shut up about that–has reviews on IMDB giving it an 8 and a 10. Are these people deranged? Probably, but you get the idea. So while Possessor has been on several “best of 2020” lists, one anonymous person on…
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Slender Man (2018)
2021, baby! Happy New Year! After a remarkably shitty year we’ve entered into a new one full of possibility, and I’m starting it off by reviewing absolute dogshit. January is dedicated to movies considered to be “the worst ever.” I’ve already touched on a few on the IMDB Bottom 100 like The Room, Cats, Batman & Robin, and even Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas earlier this week. Then there are the movies from Rotten Tomato’s “The Worst Horror Movies of All Time” list, including Brahms: The Boy II, Fantasy Island, and the Jacob’s Ladder remake. And I’ve also talked about a…
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Black Christmas (1974)
We’re going old school today! While the original Black Christmas was not the first movie involving what we today would refer to as a “slasher” killer (the original The Texas Chain Saw Massacre came out the same year), it helped popularize the horror subgenre. But is this film really about Christmas? Absolutely not. It would’ve been just as easy to set it during spring break. But it happens right before Christmas, so here we are, talking about it in December. Merry technicality!
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Pet Graveyard (2019)
I’d like to make a retraction: In my Doctor Mordrid review (my second review ever on this site) I said that Pet Graveyard was a movie from The Asylum. It turns out that it’s actually from Uncork’d Entertainment, which is similar in that both companies make bad movies, but Uncork’d seems to have less production value than the Asylum. So with that damning statement, let’s tackle another entry from my “movies I have referenced” list!
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ThanksKilling 3 (2012)
Have you ever watched something so bad and/or dumb that you can actually feel your brain cells killing themselves so they don’t have to retain anything from it? A movie so awful you walk away a dumber person? WELL ON THAT NOTE, let me try to talk about ThanksKilling 3 without screaming too much!
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ThanksKilling (2008)
It took me nearly a year, but I actually looked at the calendar before deciding what movie to watch! In honor of [American] Thanksgiving happening tomorrow, I’m going to enjoy a lovely time with all of my family members. Just kidding! I haven’t seen my grandma since February! Instead we’re going to talk about ThanksKilling, a low budget film about a group of young adults who get killed off by a turkey. Named Turkie. It’s exactly the kind of movie you think it is.
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The New Mutants (2020)
Full disclosure, I was one of those people who believed that this movie was never going to be released. Originally slated to be released in April 2018, it was delayed four or five times because of things like the Fox/Disney merger and reshoots to change the entire tone. Like you do. In the end it released to an extremely limited theater run in August 2020, and was made widely available for [legal] streaming yesterday. As the last 20th Century Studios X-Men adjacent film–ending a 20 year franchise–was it worth the wait? Well…
Chwineka Watches 