I had the option to watch something good for today's post. Friends have recommended Make the Yuletide Gay to me for a while now, but for whatever reason I just wasn't feeling it at the moment. No, I was in the mood for something absolutely awful. Just some utter dogshit. But because it's December--Christmas Eve today, in fact--it has to be festive. Well good thing there's Red Christmas, a movie about an aborted fetus that survived and seeks revenge on his mother (Mrs. Dee Wallace). No, this isn't the only "survived being aborted" movie, and yes, I'll get to Hanger someday. But today we talk about Cletus the fetus in this movie that's barely about Christmas.
Did I not actually watch any movies over October that took place on Halloween? Is this really the first movie to have the "Halloween" tag? Huh. Anyway, my Movie Night group tends to watch horror movies, so it was inevitable that I'd watch a Halloween movie outside of October. I guess next year I'll try to add a few more seasonally themed horror movies to my list; but enough about plans 11 months out. Let's talk about Boo!, a lackluster horror flick. Happy belated Halloween!
Last year I said that The Blair Witch Project is a great film, and I will always stand by that statement. Sure, it unleashed a plague of cheap found footage garbage, but can you really blame the good thing for all the cheap knockoffs that follow? Speaking of cheap knockoffs, this year we're talking about Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, a mistake on just about every level. Sure, that sounds a bit unfair, but how else am I supposed to feel about a movie called "Book of Shadows" that doesn't ever feature--or even reference or mention--a spooky and/or witchy book? So the title is a lie, right out the gate? Fan-fuckin-tastic.
Tag caught my attention the first time I read a summary of it and thought, "Holy shit, are they fucking serious?" Before I get to what made my jaw drop, I want to specify which Tag this actually is. It's not 2018's Tag about grown men playing a game of tag. It's not 1982's Tag: The Assassination Game with Linda Hamilton. It's not even 2015's Japanese Tag where heads explode. No, this is 2015's American Tag--or 2012, or 2014, or 2016 depending on which site you check--where McLovin gets sucked into one man's plan to spread HIV to as many people as possible.
Who has two thumbs and survived the worst heatwave to hit the Pacific Northwest in recorded history? This guy! Anyway, Pride Month is almost over and there was one last thing I wanted to do in honor of it: watch Freier Fall, AKA Free Fall. It's a German film from 2013 about two men who fall in love, but society is against them. Sound familiar and a little... overplayed? Sure does to me!
Sometimes you watch a movie because an actor you like is in it. I don't remember Hellraiser: Hellworld for it's groundbreaking script, but because the prolific Mr. Lance Henriksen was in the Hellraiser sequel that took place in an video game. And... Henry Cavill was in it? I'll file that away for later, but the point still stands. So while looking for my next movie to review I saw the trailer for Wildling, recognized an actor in this, and instantly knew I had to watch it. And as a bonus, Brad Dourif--Wormtongue in The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Chucky in Child's Play, and a dozen more recognizable roles--is also in this!
Another week means another episode of WandaVision, now in color! That's not just a joke; that's also the title, "Now in Color." The uncomfortable strangeness of the show continues, now with a 1970's The Brady Bunch aesthetic (and a theme song very reminiscent of The Partridge Family). When last we saw our couple, Wanda was suddenly pregnant. Months away from giving birth, right? Well... not quite.
We're going old school today! While the original Black Christmas was not the first movie involving what we today would refer to as a "slasher" killer (the original The Texas Chain Saw Massacre came out the same year), it helped popularize the horror subgenre. But is this film really about Christmas? Absolutely not. It would've been just as easy to set it during spring break. But it happens right before Christmas, so here we are, talking about it in December. Merry technicality!
CONTENT WARNING: INCESTSO THAT'S NOW A TAG ON THIS BLOG... So... um... As I mentioned yesterday, this was supposed to be a post talking about the newly released The Craft: Legacy. But despite Amazon saying it had a release date of October 27th, the movie did not manifest in time. I hope to have that … Continue reading The Covenant (2017)
Do you know how bad you have to be to become the worst movie in the Children of the Corn franchise? Yeah yeah, welcome to October of the Corn, I'm mad at this movie. I complained that Children of the Corn: The Gathering felt like an unrelated script that slapped the franchise name on it, but this movie... this fucking movie... Okay, enough vague ranting, let's dive in.