Promising Young Woman (2020)

One of the downsides of doing an event or theme month is that anything that doesn't fit in gets pushed back. I saw Promising Young Woman near the middle of January but it absolutely didn't match that month's "worst ever" theme. Plus, I had already cheesed it by finding a negative review for the good movie Possessor, so doing that twice felt too much like cheating. So here we are in February, talking about a movie that came out in December. Ever so topical.

Fatman (2020)

My dear readers, when I heard that there was going to be a movie featuring Mr. Mel "Sugar Tits" Gibson as Santa Claus, I got excited. And Walton Goggins (the other, other villain of The Ant-Man and the Wasp) was going to be an assassin hired to kill him? And the person who hired him was a child pissed off that he got coal? Holy shit, this sounds amazing! An action comedy about trying to murder Santa! What could go wrong? Well, for starters, calling this movie a "comedy" would suggest that there are any jokes in it, of which there are none. And no joy, either. Humbug.

ThanksKilling (2008)

It took me nearly a year, but I actually looked at the calendar before deciding what movie to watch! In honor of [American] Thanksgiving happening tomorrow, I'm going to enjoy a lovely time with all of my family members. Just kidding! I haven't seen my grandma since February! Instead we're going to talk about ThanksKilling, a low budget film about a group of young adults who get killed off by a turkey. Named Turkie. It's exactly the kind of movie you think it is.

Mandy (2018)

Man, remember when I used to talk about good movies? I don't! According to my lovely archives, the last movie I talked about that was generally considered "good" was last month. Watching two weeks of Mothman movies does horrible things to a person, so I need to take a break from the suck. So let's talk about Mr. Nic Cage killing a cult while high on megadrugs!

The Perfection (2019)

I try to be a decent person; at least, in regards to this blog. Sure, I fuckin’ swear sometimes, but I try to provide content warnings where applicable. And dear reader, I gotta warn you about this movie: there’s body horror on screen, several allusions and threats about sexual assault, and both of those are tied enough to the plot that I’m going to talk about them. I enjoyed the movie enough to give it a thumbs up, but no one’s gonna judge if you decide to skip this one.