Category: 3.0 stars
It was fine.
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Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Everybody’s got a movie they think is overrated. Some are contrarians–check out the 1 star reviews of any of the more famously well received films for examples–while others just don’t get the hype. I find myself in that second camp with the original Dawn of the Dead, a film that just went on longer than it needed to while not really doing much. Oh man, am I already hitting the inevitable decline in quality this early in October of the Living Dead? This could be a problem…
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Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
COVID fucked up a lot of stuff. Case in point, Marvel celebrated the release of Thor: Love and Thunder because that meant they had finally caught up with all the projects announced at San Diego Comic Con 2019 (that had a release date). November 5, 2021? Whoopsie! But it’s here now, and it’s getting… very mixed reviews. And I kind of agree. To an extent, at least.
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Make the Yuletide Gay (2009)
Oh, you thought you I was done with Christmas movies just because the 25th had come and gone? Nope! This month had several interruptions to the theme, so I’m making up for it by finishing the week off with a few more holiday films. And hopefully some good ones since January’s theme is… it’s going to be bad. I honestly don’t know if I can keep it up through all of that month.
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Virus (1999)
Every movie is somebody’s least favorite movie. That’s just the law of averages, in my mind. I can look up just about any movie generally regarded as “good” or “a classic” and find 1 star reviews saying it’s boring, or just sucks. But while most people can safely ignore idontknowiknowthatidontknow’s review of The Shawshank Redemption, “if this film is #2 of all time, then i am Jesus Christ returning to burn this trash,” big names saying they hate a movie they actually were in is worth noticing. Case in point, Mrs. Jamie Lee Curtis has said on multiple occasions that…
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Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)
I’ve seen all ten Hellraiser movies before, but most of them were a long time ago. I remembered the first two adhering to Mr. Clive Barker’s vision and being pretty good, the last two were absolute dog shit, and the ones in the middle were hit or miss. So I went into Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth not expecting much. They’re brining back Pinhead after his noble sacrifice in Hellbound: Hellraiser II? Already starting on a bad foot. But turns out this was better than I remember, in part because it has something intersting to say about abusive relationships.
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Django (2017)
Django is an unusual name, isn’t it? The only people I knew with that name were characters in westerns–white Django in 1966’s Django and black Django in Django Unchained–or the genetic base for Boba Fett. Yes, I know that one’s actually Jango, but still. Turns out it’s a Romani name, which makes using it for a western hero extra unusual. Why pick that name out of all the ones available? It’s almost like there was some famous person named Django that the filmmakers were referencing, but what are the odds of that?
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Beethoven (1992)
Once upon a time, I found out that a friend of mine was a big fan of the movie Beethoven. You know, the one about the big, slobbery dog? Anyway it turns out it had more sequels than you would expect, so I bought him a DVD collection as a gift to him and punishment to everyone else at Movie Night. But then COVID hit and Movie Night disbanded for over a year. But once we started back up, the Beethoven movies were back on the menu! Until a few weeks ago when more COVID shenanigans started preventing us from…
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Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure (1984)
It wasn’t my intention to avoid the main Star Wars movies; it’s just that covering all nine is an event all to itself. And then the question becomes in what order do I watch them? Chronologically (1-9)? By release (4-6, 1-3, 7-9)? Flashback mode (4&5, 1-3, 6-9)? And what about Rogue One and Solo? But that’s a problem for future Chwineka, and fuck that guy. Today we’re talking about Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure, a made-for-TV kids film featuring everyone’s favorite Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi characters, the ewoks. What, you didn’t love the ewoks? Well too…
Chwineka Watches 