Hellraiser (2022)

Last year for October I watched all the Hellraiser films as part of The Hellbound Halloween. That's 10 movies about Pinhead and his fellow cenobites, with a brief break near the end because holy shit they somehow got progressively worse as time went on. So when I heard that the long-awaited Hellraiser reboot was dropping in October, I knew I had to talk about it. And so here we are on a Saturday while the weekdays are taken up by October of the Living Dead.

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Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

COVID fucked up a lot of stuff. Case in point, Marvel celebrated the release of Thor: Love and Thunder because that meant they had finally caught up with all the projects announced at San Diego Comic Con 2019 (that had a release date). November 5, 2021? Whoopsie! But it's here now, and it's getting... very mixed reviews. And I kind of agree. To an extent, at least.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

I've wanted to get a tattoo for ages now--don't worry, this will eventually tie in. My main problem is that I haven't come up with an idea worth the time and money to get it permanently put on my body. They say you should sit on a tattoo idea for a while before pulling the trigger, and the only ideas I've held onto that long are comic references. Like, Lantern Corps symbols from Green Lantern, or something X-Men related. Hell, Cyclops' visor could be cool. But I can't bring myself to get a tattoo of a property I have absolutely no say over how the story goes, in part because you never know when your favorite character might become a monster. Like, imagine getting a Daenerys Targaryen tattoo--or naming your daughter after her--and then seeing how her story ends in Game of Thrones. And on that note...

Morbius (2022)

I'd say it feels good to be back, but really it's just good to have an outlet for all the dumb shit I want to say. Morbius is a perfect target, because it's a buckwild film. I get what they were trying to do, but... the movie's a mess from top to bottom. For the last 20 years, there's apparently been some intern at Sony who really, really wants to make a Sinister Six movie and people keep letting him throw in story seeds, but apparently no one has the heart to tell him they all suck.