Django is an unusual name, isn't it? The only people I knew with that name were characters in westerns--white Django in 1966's Django and black Django in Django Unchained--or the genetic base for Boba Fett. Yes, I know that one's actually Jango, but still. Turns out it's a Romani name, which makes using it for a western hero extra unusual. Why pick that name out of all the ones available? It's almost like there was some famous person named Django that the filmmakers were referencing, but what are the odds of that?
A few weeks have passed since Loki wrapped up, so it's about time for a new Disney+ Marvel Cinematic Universe show! But the formula is getting changed up a bit; instead of a series that overtly builds up to another show or movie (like WandaVision setting up Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness), What If...? is Marvel's version of The Twilight Zone. Taking its premise from the comic series of the same name, What If...? does exactly what its title suggests, asking what if the characters and events you know deviated from what was "supposed" to happen? In this particular case, "What If Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?"
I know I basically said that Thor: The Dark World was a turning point for the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but that's more a collection of little details. Captain America: The Winter Soldier, however? This is a huge moment in the franchise, splitting everything into "films before" and "films after." It's also the first MCU film by the directors of several episodes of Community, Mr. Joe and Mr. Anthony Russo. Oh yeah, they both directed the pilot and Joe also directed Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, A Fistfull of Paintballs, and For a Few Paintballs More. That probably explains why Abed was working for SHIELD... They also directed Captain America: Civil War, Avengers: Infinity War, and Avengers: Endgame, so that's probably more relevant to MCU March.
With Captain America: The First Avenger, all 6 of the main Avengers have been introduced. Iron Man was introduced in Iron Man, Hulk in The Incredible Hulk, Black Widow in Iron Man 2, and both Thor and Hawkeye in Thor. All that's missing is the star-spangled man with a plan, leading us to this flashback movie. Welcome back to MCU March! Let's talk about the last movie leading up to The Avengers.
One potentially bad habit of mine when writing these posts is referencing a different movie. A lot of the time it's a film I've already talked about, but there are also a bunch of times where it's something I haven't made a post for. I keep all the references on a list and it currently sits at 272 movies and TV shows. Holy fuck! So let's work through that backlog, but in a random way! I'm going to roll the digital equivalent of a 272-sided die and that's going to be what we're talking about today. As of writing this sentence, I don't even know what it'll be! So let's roll and... #149! The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp, as mentioned in the Viktor und Viktoria post! So let's talk about this nearly 3 hour movie in the Criteron Collection.
I don’t think it’s too much to ask for some paranormal activity (pun intended) from a movie with “Paranormal” in the title. Well, Paranormal Investigation has other ideas. Sure, it’s the story of a young adult of ambiguous age being possessed by an evil spirit, but there are zero special effects in this movie. Well, okay, there are SOME, but they’re just the cameras glitching slightly when the possessed guy walks past them, and then a mostly invisible body passing by a camera at the very end. So what else does the movie offer? Well… not much.
I don’t know about you, but I need a break from Batman. So let’s switch gears and watching something absolutely awful! Foodfight!–the title has an exclamation point so you know it’s quality–is infamously bad: it’s hideous, the story sucks, it’s shameless product placement, and it cost $65 million to make because they had no idea what they were doing and then the computers the movie was stored on got stolen. Oops! It eventually limped its way to a DVD release, and here we are. I own this. I make only the best decisions.
So first there was Bloodrayne, one of the several video game movie made by talentless hack Uwe Boll. Next there was Bloodrayne 2: Deliverance, where Rayne fights cowboys. The trilogy ended with Bloodrayne: The Third Reich, the one where she FINALLY fights Nazis. But wait, we’re not quite done! Then came Blubberella, a scene-for-scene parody of The Third Reich where Rayne has been replaced by the titular Blubberella (played by Ms. Lindsay Hollister), an overweight dhampir. And it’s bad. Like, amazingly bad.