Virus (1999)

Every movie is somebody's least favorite movie. That's just the law of averages, in my mind. I can look up just about any movie generally regarded as "good" or "a classic" and find 1 star reviews saying it's boring, or just sucks. But while most people can safely ignore idontknowiknowthatidontknow's review of The Shawshank Redemption, "if this film is #2 of all time, then i am Jesus Christ returning to burn this trash," big names saying they hate a movie they actually were in is worth noticing. Case in point, Mrs. Jamie Lee Curtis has said on multiple occasions that Virus is the worst movie she's ever been in, which is a bold claim to make about a fairly okay movie.

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The Matrix (1999)

As I said in the Strapped post, one of my goals for Pride Month was to review The Matrix trilogy. Sure, it's about a white cisgender guy who falls in love with a white cisgender girl, but the creators are trans women! Well, they are now; Mrs. Lana and Lily Wachowski didn't write and direct The Matrix under those names, but we try not to deadname here, especially during Pride Month. So get ready for a week of trans philosophy! Or really one day of trans philosophy and two of "I think the overall message got a bit muddied as time and sequels went on."

Beau Travail (1999)

This is going to be an uncharacteristically short post. Long story short, I got my final COVID vaccine on Monday (hooray!) and it's got me a little spacey as I write this on Tuesday. So let's get in, get out, and share a YouTube video along the way.

Children of the Corn 666: Isaac’s Return (1999)

I see what this movie was trying to do with "666" instead of "Part VI," but... why? 666 is traditionally regarded as the number of The Beast, but that's from the Book of Revelation (remember, it's singular, not plural). So it's very Christian... and while the child cult of He Who Walks Behind the Rows has performative Christian aspects, it's definitely not the same religion. So having "666" in the title makes no sense!

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

I love The Blair Witch Project. It's one of my favorite films (that I weirdly don't own), but it's by no means a perfect movie. Writers/directors Mr. Eduardo Sánchez and Daniel Myrick got amazing performances out of the small cast but through some rough means. And its financial success (under half $1 million budget against a $248.6 million box office) convinced every jackass with half an idea and a home movie camera that they too could make a found footage movie. But with those quibbles out of the way, now is my time to gush.

The Mummy (1999)

Alright, now we’re cooking! It’s taken roughly 10,000 years, but we’ve reached The Mummy movies that people have actually heard of. Sure, it was nice to see what came before and the origins of characters/names Mr. Stephen Sommers pulled from, but we’ve had enough of these movies taking themselves seriously. Show me some Brendan Fraser scaring the villain off with a cat!

Jesus (1999)

Okay, so why I picked this particular movie might need a bit of explaining… First off, as I mentioned in the Dead & Breakfast review, I love Mr. Jeremy Sisto. A while ago I was browsing through his IMDB page and saw that he played Jesus–as in the son of God–in a TV miniseries. I had to see it! That was a few years ago, and I finally managed to stumble upon it recently. And I knew I’d have to review it.

The All New Adventures of Laurel & Hardy in “For Love or Mummy” (1999)

Growing up, my grandfather loved Laurel and Hardy. He watched their shorts and movies all the time and even had a framed letter written by Stan Laurel. And Grandpa Bud would make us watch Laurel and Hardy with him most visits, so while I’m no expert, I do know about the comedy duo. And with that knowledge I can say that my grandfather would probably hate this.