So it was my friend's birthday last week. He's part of Movie Night--he's actually the guy who started it in his parents' basement--and wanted to watch something truly awful in celebration. Just some absolute dog shit. And I thought, hey, I know something that is supposed to be irredeemably bad! And so we watched Not Cool, a film that was made by a YouTuber as part of a reality show. And I hated it so much. So, so much.
racism
CONTENT WARNING
Return of the Living Dead III (1993)
There was a part of me dreading watching the rest of The Return of the Living Dead movies after the second one, Return of the Living Dead: Part II. I mean, Part II was absolutely atrocious and you can fairly safely assume any following sequels are going to be worse. But Return of the Living Dead III was definitely better! It's not all that good, but it's still better than the second one!
Django (2017)
Django is an unusual name, isn't it? The only people I knew with that name were characters in westerns--white Django in 1966's Django and black Django in Django Unchained--or the genetic base for Boba Fett. Yes, I know that one's actually Jango, but still. Turns out it's a Romani name, which makes using it for a western hero extra unusual. Why pick that name out of all the ones available? It's almost like there was some famous person named Django that the filmmakers were referencing, but what are the odds of that?
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier – Season 1, Episode 2
Pieces are starting to come together with The Star Spangled Man, the second episode of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. What kind of man is John Walker, the new Captain America? What are the Flag Smashers trying to accomplish? And how many new characters are straight from the comics? Let's dive in and answer these questions!
The Ridiculous 6 (2015)
This was not the movie I intended to talk about today. See, in preparing for a month dedicated to the worst movies ever, I collected a bunch of links to visit later. One was for a movie called Daniel der Zauberer, AKA Daniel the Wizard, the #18 movie (as of writing) on the IMDB Bottom 100 and a film directed by my nemesis, Mr. Ulli Lommel (no I will never shut up about Diary of a Cannibal). It's a German film but it has to have subtitles, right? Well after spending $3 to rent it on Vimeo, turns out it did not have subtitles. And I couldn't find it anywhere else on the internet. Since I was annoyed and didn't want to spend any more money, I scrambled for a replacement. Just about every list talking about the worst movies on Netflix mentioned the Adam Sandler movie The Ridiculous 6, a vague parody of The Magnificent Seven, so that's... a thing we're doing now.
Santa’s Little Helper (2015)
Once upon a time, my guilty pleasure was watching WWE wrestling (I've previously talked about it in the Scooby-Doo! and WWE: Curse of the Speed Demon post). But even that doesn't fully explain why I bought a physical DVD of a Christmas comedy starring The "The Miz" Miz, AKA Mr. Mike Mizanin, AKA The Miz. He's not my favorite wrestler. He's not even in my top 10! The only lists he tops are "most punchable faces" and "best example of self-absorbed heels!" But this also features Saraya-Jade "Paige" Bevis, one of my favorites. And she's the sinister rival. With hilariously bad elf ears. Okay, I'm back on board with owning this.
The Craft (1996)
For a lot of people my age--Millennials that are very close to the Generation X divide--the 90's are a nostalgic time. Things were better back then, right? Or at least we didn't have the maturity and capacity to understand how things were not good, haven't been good for a long time, and that a lot of our current problems have roots back then. But, uh... at least the movies back then were good? Some of the movies. Okay, so this and a couple other movies that nostalgia goggles convince us were good. This intro is getting away from me... SO YEAH ANYWAY, HOW ABOUT THE CRAFT?
The Breeding (2018)
The week of “movies I’ve been dragging my feet on watching” is wrapping up, so let's watch something that I was putting off because I knew it would make me uncomfortable! The premise of The Breeding is pretty simple: a white racist kidnaps a black gay man with the intention of torturing him until he submits to being a slave. Thank god this was written/directed by people of color, because if a white man was behind it I would cringe myself into oblivion. Based on that premise alone, I'm reiterating the warning at the top of the page: viewer discretion is advised, because sexual assault and racism against people of color is baked into the premise.
Chwineka Watches 