Category: 2020
The year I started this blog. Nothing else important happened.
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Children of the Corn (2020)
I know, I know. I’m still on hiatus, but I had to make this post. Why? Because I am Captain Ahab and the Children of the Corn prequel/remake/reboot has been my white whale ever since it disappeared off the face of the goddamned Earth back in 2020, only to resurface recently. From hell’s heart I stab at thee! The last movie of this forsaken franchise has been seen!
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Becky (2020)
I feel like I usually have a fairly good idea on what a movie is about just from the premise. Not specifically every twist and turn, but for the most part I can watch a trailer and figure out if the movie’s going to be a trainwreck or not. And I absolutely expected Becky to be a disaster. All you have to do is look at Mr. Kevin James and the swastika tattoo on the back of his head! Paul Blart as a neo-Nazi, trying a serious role? Bound to be a disaster. So imagine my surprise when this movie…
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Run (2020)
Trailers lie all the time. Sometimes it’s for good reasons, like Avengers: Infinity War hiding how many Infinity Stones Thanos had when he fought Captain America. And sometimes it’s for bad reasons, like Slender Man cutting a bunch of scenes that would explain what the hell was going on while apparently forgetting that they were left in the trailers. Then you have a movie like Run which lies like a fucking pro.
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A Wrestling Christmas Miracle (2020)
Mr. Ken del Vecchio is a bad man. His politics sucks, his writing sucks, his acting sucks, and the fact that he forces his kid into his movies sucks. Joker’s Poltergeist was in very poor taste, A Karate Christmas Miracle, was baffling, and A Wrestling Christmas Miracle was so, so boring. The others may be worse to some people, but this was the bottom of the barrel for me.
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Blood Freak (2020)
I have no one to blame but myself. Not only did I willingly invited suffering into my life, but I sought it out. And all it cost me was a piece of my soul. And $13. Free shipping, though!
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Bahum Bug 2 (2020)
I think it’s safe to say that I didn’t like Bahum Bug. I thought it was lazy, bad, boring, and looked cheap. Also the ending had Bahum Bug repent his evil ways, so what was left for a sequel? I expected some shenanigans like his cousin comes and causes trouble, but oh no. No no no. Bahum Bug 2 decided to be lazier. And worse. Even more boring, and somehow cheaper.
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Don’t Listen (2020)
I’ve changed my mind a bunch of times about what should be the last weekday horror movie in October that’s not a part of the Hellbound Halloween. Lot of caveats there, I know. I eventually decided it would be one of the movies I was going to watch for this week’s Movie Night. And the selections were… very different. The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror is a bad movie and I have a lot to say about it, but that’s going to have to wait until November cause I want to talk about something actually good before the month…
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Joe Bell (2020)
When I first saw the trailer for Joe Bell, I thought to myself, “What kind of hetero nonsense is this?” It told too much of the story: a young gay man kills himself, and his father feels really bad about it. I joked that the real title should be A is for Ally and just assumed that it would be a movie that would make my eyes roll. But oh, dear reader, I was wrong. This movie pissed me the FUCK off.
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PG: Psycho Goreman (2020)
Man, after being disappointed that Fear Street: 1994 wasn’t 10 out of 10 amazing, it’s nice to find something like PG: Psycho Goreman, which is absolutely my jam in just about every way possible. Horror? You’ve got a demonic alien trying to destroy the universe. Black comedy? It’s not going to make sense here, but that was the weightiest “You’re welcome,” in the history of cinema, and it was hilarious. Over the top gore? To an unrealistic degree which wraps back around to enjoyable! Some of the wettest puppets imaginable? Not my particular fetish, but I know this hit the…
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Out (2020)
It’s Pride Month, and you know what that means! It’s time for corporations to slap rainbows on their logos and pat themselves on the back so hard that they’ll strain something! And this applies to streaming services, too! Netflix has an LGBTQ section, although it’s there year-round and isn’t being advertised on the main site as of writing. Tubi actually does have their LGBTQIA+ Pride movies on the front page, but after you click the Load More button (and it’s also a year-round thing). And Disney+ has… several TV shows that feature one (1) gay side character, a couple shorts…
Chwineka Watches 