Promising Young Woman (2020)

One of the downsides of doing an event or theme month is that anything that doesn't fit in gets pushed back. I saw Promising Young Woman near the middle of January but it absolutely didn't match that month's "worst ever" theme. Plus, I had already cheesed it by finding a negative review for the good movie Possessor, so doing that twice felt too much like cheating. So here we are in February, talking about a movie that came out in December. Ever so topical.

Possessor (2020)

Sure, I could spend all of January pulling movies straight from the IMDB Bottom 100 and call it a day. Month. Whatever. But things like "bad" and "worst ever" are incredibly subjective. What you think is awful could be another person's favorite movie. As an example, Diary of a Cannibal--the worst movie I have ever seen and no I will never shut up about that--has reviews on IMDB giving it an 8 and a 10. Are these people deranged? Probably, but you get the idea. So while Possessor has been on several "best of 2020" lists, one anonymous person on Letterboxd said, and I quote, "One of the worst movies we have ever seen." Flimsy justification on my part to watch a good movie during this month, but someone said it was the worst! So here we are!

A Recipe for Seduction (2020)

We're taking a short break from non-stop Christmas movies to review something special. This is a first on two fronts for this blog: the first review of a short film and the first review of a commercial. That's right, Lifetime and KFC partnered up to create A Recipe for Seduction, a living, breathing meme. And how could I not review it? It's just a few steps away from a televised Chuck Tingle adaptation, or a Super Bowl commercial actually making use of its budget. And it stars Mr. Mario Lopez as Harland Sanders? I'm delighted and intrigued!

Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square (2020)

Full disclosure, I recently kind of forgot that Netflix existed. It's one of my browser shortcuts, for fuck's sake! I've been so focused on the amazing garbage Tubi is constantly offering that new releases people would actually have heard of were slipping me by. Case in point, did you know that Mrs. Dolly Parton had Netflix-original Christmas musical that came out at the end of November? Because I didn't! But I do now, so here we go!

Fatman (2020)

My dear readers, when I heard that there was going to be a movie featuring Mr. Mel "Sugar Tits" Gibson as Santa Claus, I got excited. And Walton Goggins (the other, other villain of The Ant-Man and the Wasp) was going to be an assassin hired to kill him? And the person who hired him was a child pissed off that he got coal? Holy shit, this sounds amazing! An action comedy about trying to murder Santa! What could go wrong? Well, for starters, calling this movie a "comedy" would suggest that there are any jokes in it, of which there are none. And no joy, either. Humbug.

Happiest Season (2020)

Does anyone else have trouble remembering the name of this movie? I keep thinking this is called something like Make the Yuletide Gay, but that's a 2009 movie about gay dudes. Happiest Season just slips out of my brain every time I look away, and hopefully I'll remember it better after writing this post. Oh, right, it's December so I'm gonna review a bunch of Christmas movies, and we're starting with a good and gay one.

The New Mutants (2020)

Full disclosure, I was one of those people who believed that this movie was never going to be released. Originally slated to be released in April 2018, it was delayed four or five times because of things like the Fox/Disney merger and reshoots to change the entire tone. Like you do. In the end it released to an extremely limited theater run in August 2020, and was made widely available for [legal] streaming yesterday. As the last 20th Century Studios X-Men adjacent film--ending a 20 year franchise--was it worth the wait? Well...

Spiral (2019)

Leading up to talking about horror movies every weekday in October I got a Shudder account. If you don't know what that is, it's a streaming service that caters specifically to the horror genre. That's actually where I watched Mandy after Amazon was a lagging piece of garbage! I don't know if I'll keep with it after the free month is over, but in the mean time it has been interesting to watch some Shudder exclusives like 2020's Spiral, a queer horror thriller! Not to be confused with 2021's Spiral, which is the revival of the Saw franchise.

The Old Guard (2020)

I first heard about this movie on Facebook when a (gay) friend had posted an article about it and the preview image was two male characters kissing. That was really all I needed to know, so I logged onto Netflix and watched it. And that, as it turns out, was the right decision!