Tell Tale (2009)

I want to say that I found this movie by looking up superhero movies. Tell Tale is a film written by Mr. Dave Callaham, who is credited as the writer on Wonder Woman 1984, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, and the upcoming Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse 2. Hell, Callaham also wrote 2021's Mortal Kombat and all four The Expendables movies--no, you're not having a stroke, the fourth one hasn't come out yet. Or that I found it looking up movies based on Edgar Allan Poe stories. All those are things I would talk about here, so it would make sense. But no, I discovered this obscure movie in a way that leaves me honestly feeling a bit embarrassed...

Fear Street: 1666 (2021)

I did it! I actually took the time to reread The Fear Street Saga books! And it's a good thing I did, because the parallels between that trilogy of books and this trilogy of movies are... uh... Okay, so there's next to no connection and I can't get too excited about reading a novella written for teenagers, but still. Back to the topic on hand, Fear Street: 1666 ties all the threads from Fear Street: 1994 and Fear Street: 1978 together, revealing the truth behind all the bad things that happen in Shadyside. And I'm going to talk around that as this is a mostly spoiler free review. Yup, being super inconsistent about that with this trilogy.

Fear Street: 1994 (2021)

One thing this blog lacks (as of writing) is an "About the Author" page. I've thought about it multiple times and even have a draft saved, but so far nothing has felt quite right. Early on I even considered doing a series of posts where I explain my history with the horror genre: from AOL public domain stories posted around Halloween by some guy named "Lovecraft" to The Fear Street Saga, three books that told the history of the cursed town Shadyside. I even still have those books! Well, imagine my surprise when they announced a trilogy of Fear Street movies inspired by the book series of the same name. Hell, they even got Mrs. Leigh Janiak--the director of Honeymoon, one of my favorite movies--to direct all three! These movies were specifically made for me, which is a bit sad cause the first one was... it was fine. It's fine. It was fine.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007)

It's that time of year once again, dear readers! As my state begs people not to shoot off fireworks so soon after a record-breaking heatwave and at the start of what could be one of the worst fire seasons yet, it's time to celebrate the Fourth of July! Last year I marked the occasion by watching National Treasure, so it shouldn't be too much of a surprise that this year I'm looking at National Treasure: Book of Secrets. So without further ado, LET'S KIDNAP THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!

The Empty Man (2020)

You know what I did recently? I had a friend over to my place... and neither of us wore our masks! Scandalous, I know. He was one of the Movie Night guys, and the fact that we haven't had one of those in over a year is really getting to us. It was a thing we did every week for over a decade! But it was nice to have someone over watching a horror movie with me, even if we were as far apart as possible while not sitting on the floor. Anyway, we watched The Empty Man on his recommendation, and it was a fun experience all around.

Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)

So here we are, a week later. I started this mini event by watching Godzilla vs. Kong and then thinking, "hey, shouldn't I review the other movies first?" This idea of having to review the preceding films has had a spotty record here, since I reviewed Brahams: The Boy II half a year before getting to The Boy, and I haven't covered the original Jacob's Ladder after talking about the awful, awful Jacob's Ladder remake. So why do it now, when it would push this review even further away from being topical? I dunno, man. I guess I just wanted to watch giant monsters punch fight each other again.

When They Cry, Season 1: Episodes 22-26

Here we finally are, the last arc in the first season of Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, AKA When They Cry. Or is it series, since the next series/season has a different subtitle, title song, and end credits song? I'm honestly not sure, just like I'm honestly not sure what's really going on in this series. But not necessarily in a bad way? That's the intent, what with it being a mystery series and all, but damn, it would be nice to get some actual answers. Good thing this is a so-called answer arc! So let's jump into Atonement and finish off the first season. Series. Whatever.

Godzilla (2014)

I can't do anything easily, can I? I'm already a month late to reviewing Godzilla vs. Kong, and yet I feel the need to start at the beginning of the so-called MonsterVerse cinematic universe with 2014's Godzilla, AKA the one I think is the least good. I mean, it's not the worst Godzilla movie ever--I hate you so much, Gabara and will NEVER forgive you for existing--but of the four films in this new franchise, it's the weakest, in part because it shows as little of Godzilla as possible.

When They Cry, Season 1: Episodes 16-21

The first four chapters in Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, AKA When They Cry, are referred to as "question arcs." I think it's a great name because I have a whole bunch of questions as to what the fuck is going on. But now we've entered the so-called "answers arcs." I went into the Eye Opening arc completely unprepared for what I was about to see and learn, thinking it was going to follow the pattern I had assumed was there based on the question arcs. Is every question answered? Absolutely not, but I learned enough new things that I realized I've been working on some faulty logic about what's really going on here. This arc is six episodes, so this'll run a little long!

Wer (2013)

Don't you hate it when a movie gets spoiled by its trailer? I can't even begin to count the number of films where I watched the trailer and thought, "Well that's got to be 90% of the plot." Which brings me to Wer, a movie that makes you wonder whether the antagonist is actually supernatural or not, while the trailer flat out says, yeah, he's a werewolf.