Category: Reviews
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WandaVision – Season 1, Episode 5
So, uh, you may have noticed that the internet kind of lost its mind about this episode. Something happened that either could change the entirety of the Marvel Cinematic Universe with its implications, or the showrunners are fucking with us. Either way, there’s a lot to unpack here, so let’s dive right in.
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The Phantom (1996)
Good heavens, look at the time! It’s been a while since I rolled randomly on the list of movies I’ve referenced but haven’t reviewed yet, so let’s do that again! Out of a list of 291 movies (why do I do this to myself), the random die roller picks… #247! And that film is… available exclusively on HBO Max, a streaming service I don’t currently have access to. Oh no, it looks like I’ll have to talk about a secret agent monkey another day. So let’s roll again… #195! The Phantom! This I can do!
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The Lighthouse (2016)
Today’s film is… wait a second… The Lighthouse? Didn’t I already cover that in October? This must be a different movie with the same title, then. Lemme read the description: “Two men fight for their lives and their sanity when they’re trapped in a remote lighthouse for months while a freak storm rages and tragedy strikes.” Huh. That, uh… That sure does sound like The Lighthouse. But this came out a few years before and stars no names I recognize–the two leads here were in Star Wars VIII: The Last Jedi as “Captain Whose Seige Dreadnought Gets Bombed at the…
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Promising Young Woman (2020)
One of the downsides of doing an event or theme month is that anything that doesn’t fit in gets pushed back. I saw Promising Young Woman near the middle of January but it absolutely didn’t match that month’s “worst ever” theme. Plus, I had already cheesed it by finding a negative review for the good movie Possessor, so doing that twice felt too much like cheating. So here we are in February, talking about a movie that came out in December. Ever so topical.
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WandaVision – Season 1, Episode 4
We interrupt this program of WandaVision to talk about “We Interrupt This Program,” the episode that answers a BUNCH of questions we had after watching the first three episodes, while presenting whole new ones. There’s a lot that happened in this half hour, so let’s jump right in!
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Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)
Let’s finish off a month of the worst movies ever with a classic. I gotta say, after falling in love with B-movie parodies like The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, I had to keep reminding myself that Plan 9 from Outer Space was absolutely sincere. I mean, assuming the film Ed Wood is to be believed, but that’s a key ingredient in making a cult classic. Sincerity in ineptitude is what separates the men from the boys, and Birdemic: Shock and Terror from something like Taintlight.
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The Ridiculous 6 (2015)
This was not the movie I intended to talk about today. See, in preparing for a month dedicated to the worst movies ever, I collected a bunch of links to visit later. One was for a movie called Daniel der Zauberer, AKA Daniel the Wizard, the #18 movie (as of writing) on the IMDB Bottom 100 and a film directed by my nemesis, Mr. Ulli Lommel (no I will never shut up about Diary of a Cannibal). It’s a German film but it has to have subtitles, right? Well after spending $3 to rent it on Vimeo, turns out it…
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Taintlight (2009)
I love my friends, I really do. When I asked around about what people thought was the worst movie they’d ever seen I got some of the usual suspects, but enough of my friends are fucking weirdos like me that I got a few rare cuts as well. One of them was Taintlight, a cheap and ugly parody of Twilight (a movie I have now mentioned on this blog 6 times so I’m now contractually obligated to cover it before the new year is over). How ugly? Well…
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WandaVision – Season 1, Episode 3
Another week means another episode of WandaVision, now in color! That’s not just a joke; that’s also the title, “Now in Color.” The uncomfortable strangeness of the show continues, now with a 1970’s The Brady Bunch aesthetic (and a theme song very reminiscent of The Partridge Family). When last we saw our couple, Wanda was suddenly pregnant. Months away from giving birth, right? Well… not quite.
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Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
How can I devote a month to some of the worst movies ever and not talk about Birdemic: Shock and Terror? I actually own this film (but it’s also available on Tubi because of course it is) and somehow managed to not get around to it during the first year of this blog. But that oversight has now been remedied! Birdemic is infamous for being up there with The Room in terms of completely inept filmmaking. It boldly asks the question, “What if The Birds was mixed with An Inconvenient Truth with the worst CG birds you’ve ever seen?” It…
Chwineka Watches 