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The Mummy’s Kiss: 2nd Dynasty (2006)
If I say that this was a highly requested movie, would you believe me? It’s an obvious lie, of course, but it sounds better than admitting I wanted to watch this. Long story short, back in April of 2020 when we didn’t realize how long the quarantine was going to be, Mummy Mondays was put on indefinite hold along with my friends’ Movie Night. I watched several movies with mummies in the Mondays that followed, and one of them was The Mummy’s Kiss, a lesbian porn with mummies and a flimsy plot. Well, there was a sequel made, so that’s…
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Army of the Dead (2021)
I want to open this post by saying that this is probably my favorite Zack Snyder movie. I know I said that about Sucker Punch, and I still need to revisit 300 and Watchmen to see how I feel about them, but yeah, this is my new favorite of his. Army of the Dead is a zombie film apparently unrelated to Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead remake, but it’s a fun zombie heist flick to turn your brain off while watching. Unfortunately, my brain is stuck in the “on” position, so there are some things I want to talk about.
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Arrow – Season 1, Episodes 5-6
What’s this? More Arrow episodes? I was ahead with stuff for once, so I figured I’d continue watching episodes so that it doesn’t take me fifty years to reach the seasons currently airing. Don’t expect this to be a regular thing–especially with Loki’s premiere right around the corner.
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Arrow – Season 1, Episodes 2-4
Welcome back to me talking about Arrow season 1! Last time we talked about the pilot episode where we learned that Oliver Queen was shipwrecked on an island for five years, has recently come back home, and is a superhero vigilante on the downlow. With the pilot out of the way and a couple plot threads for the season already showing, the next couple episodes build up the main characters. But this is a show for the CW network, so there will be action sequences to go with over the top drama. So, pretty much like a comic book.
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The Field Guide to Evil (2018)
I think this is the first anthology I’ve reviewed on the blog? The only other time I’ve used that tag was with The Star Wars Holiday Special, and that was mostly a “for lack of a better word” situation. The Field Guide to Evil is a horror anthology that focuses on multicultural folklore, broadening our horizons by showcasing creatures and demons from around the world. But unfortunately for this film, not every story is told as well as the others. There were some shorts I loved, and others that just left me feeling meh.
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Wildling (2018)
Sometimes you watch a movie because an actor you like is in it. I don’t remember Hellraiser: Hellworld for it’s groundbreaking script, but because the prolific Mr. Lance Henriksen was in the Hellraiser sequel that took place in an video game. And… Henry Cavill was in it? I’ll file that away for later, but the point still stands. So while looking for my next movie to review I saw the trailer for Wildling, recognized an actor in this, and instantly knew I had to watch it. And as a bonus, Brad Dourif–Wormtongue in The Lord of the Rings: The Two…
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Cool Cat Fights Coronavirus (2021)
I watch a lot of bad movies, but it’s not often that I feel like something is actively trying to harm me with how bad it is. Cool Cat Fights Coronavirus may only be a 20 minute short on YouTube, but watching it was one of the most torturous things I have done in recent memory. I’m not even going to provide a link because I don’t want to subject anyone else to its awfulness. But talking about it? Sure, why not!
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Arrow – Season 1, Episode 1
We’re finally doing the interconnected superhero shows on the CW channel known as the Arrowverse! This is the start of a very, very large undertaking, so I won’t be doing everything in a marathon format. Like with previous series, I’m going to take breaks because holy crap there’s a lot to this. As of writing, the Arrowverse consists of 34 seasons across 7 different series (sort of 9), and also two web series (each with two seasons). Holy shit. And they all start crossing over with each other later on? I’ll figure out the best way to do that when…
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Mortal Kombat (2021)
I must’ve played a Mortal Kombat game at some point, right? I know I’ve played Street Fight and I was of course at least somewhat aware of the ongoing Mortal Kombat story/franchise, but I couldn’t really tell you much. Scorpion and Sub-Zero wear the same outfits, Kano pees too much, and Mr. James Remar was Lord Raiden in Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. I don’t have anything against the franchise, but I just absolutely suck at fighting games. My husband–a professional gamer compared to me–is a fan, so he was more excited to watch the new Mortal Kombat than I was, but…
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The Rift: Dark Side of the Moon (2016)
Lemme pull back the curtain a bit here at Chwineka Watches: I usually listen to music when writing up these posts. Revolutionary, I know. I have that “lofi hip hop radio” YouTube video bookmarked, but lately I’ve felt the urge to listen to music in my collection. Even more recently, I’ve taken all the songs I have from my new favorite band–the Anix–put them into one playlist, and just hit shuffle when it comes time to write. I really do like these guys, so imagine my surprise when I heard them while watching this utterly lackluster Serbian film! But, like,…
Chwineka Watches
The dead speak!
Chwineka Watches 