Once upon a time I thought this was the worst movie I had ever seen. Ah, to be that young again, ignorant of things like Diary of a Cannibal and Collateral Beauty… Regardless, this is widely considered to be a wet fart of an ending to an otherwise pretty decent trilogy. Some even still consider this the worst X-Men movie, but… well, touch on that more when I eventually review X-Men: Dark Phoenix.
2006
The Curse of King Tut, Part 2 (2006)
Man, I hope when this aired on the Hallmark Channel that they included a “previously on” montage, because the version I watched jumps right into the second half with no explanation. It might as well have been a commercial break instead of “to be continued” and credits. Who knows, maybe it was shown like that. I don’t care enough to look it up. Casper Van Dien has already taken up enough of my time.
The Curse of King Tut, Part 1 (2006)
Oh my god, why is this movie 3 hours long?? It’s a Hallmark original movie, for fuck’s sake! I refuse to sit though all of this in one sitting, so just like Hallmark Channel did, I’m breaking this up into two parts. Because all the best movies–and reviews–end with “to be continued.”
Just Another Romantic Wrestling Comedy (2006)
At Movie Night there’s a thing we call “Seagaling.” Named after Steven Seagal and inspired by some of his worst movies, it’s when we speed up a movie one click so it ends faster, but we can still say that we watched it. Anyway, I don’t think I can watch Just Another Romantic Wrestling Comedy without Seagaling it; it’s just irredeemably bad.
ZsaZsa Zaturnnah Ze Moveeh (2006)
The first time I saw a trailer for this movie, I knew I had to own it. This movie was made for me, and it was my destiny to find it. Sure, it’s not in English (well, mostly not in English), but that’s never stopped me before. Bring on subtitles! I don’t fear them!
