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Noobz (2012)
I am an asshole. Well, at least to one of my friends. We’ve known each other since middle school, and that level of continued friendship comes with it’s own little quirks; ours is giving each other just some of the worst presents. I get him things like a Trumpy Bear–oh yes, they’re real–and then he gets me a DVD copy of Noobz, a movie starring Mr. Jason Mewes from Clerks. I can’t say for certain that we’ve given each other equally awful gifts, but after finally sitting down and watching this movie, my next present to him will be something…
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Black Widow (2021)
I’ve been going back and forth on whether to just go full spoilers when talking about Black Widow, the first Marvel Cinematic Universe movie in two years. When I covered all the other movies earlier this year as part of MCU March, the assumption was that people had already seen those films so I gave a summary as a refresher then talked about all the plot points I wanted to talk about. But Black Widow comes out at a weird time, where on one hand people are cheering that COVID is finally over, while on the other the Delta variant…
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Loki – Season 1, Episode 5
Episodes of Arrow are taking another week off because I’ve been very busy, and not because I’ve actually been lazy and playing The Sims 4. Anyway, Loki summaries are still on track! We’re at the penultimate episode with what appears to be a massive reveal coming next week, but that doesn’t mean that this episode was lacking in things that happened. So let’s talk about this episode while I try my damnest to avoid going into detail about Kang the Conqueror!
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Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter (1974)
I feel like I don’t review enough older movies on this here blog. So far this year, I’ve reviewed 6 movies that came out before the year 2000, and four of those were from the 1990’s. Sure, these more recent movies are of a different quality compared to that of older films–both in production value and content–but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some amazing old movies! And Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter is… okay, maybe not one of the greats, but it was a perfectly passable film!
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PG: Psycho Goreman (2020)
Man, after being disappointed that Fear Street: 1994 wasn’t 10 out of 10 amazing, it’s nice to find something like PG: Psycho Goreman, which is absolutely my jam in just about every way possible. Horror? You’ve got a demonic alien trying to destroy the universe. Black comedy? It’s not going to make sense here, but that was the weightiest “You’re welcome,” in the history of cinema, and it was hilarious. Over the top gore? To an unrealistic degree which wraps back around to enjoyable! Some of the wettest puppets imaginable? Not my particular fetish, but I know this hit the…
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Fear Street: 1994 (2021)
One thing this blog lacks (as of writing) is an “About the Author” page. I’ve thought about it multiple times and even have a draft saved, but so far nothing has felt quite right. Early on I even considered doing a series of posts where I explain my history with the horror genre: from AOL public domain stories posted around Halloween by some guy named “Lovecraft” to The Fear Street Saga, three books that told the history of the cursed town Shadyside. I even still have those books! Well, imagine my surprise when they announced a trilogy of Fear Street…
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Loki – Season 1, Episode 4
We’re now halfway through Loki, and the previous episodes have left us with several answers but even more questions. The fourth episode, “The Nexus Event,” is no exception to this, raising the stakes and introducing some characters I’ve been waiting for. So let’s not waste any more time!
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National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007)
It’s that time of year once again, dear readers! As my state begs people not to shoot off fireworks so soon after a record-breaking heatwave and at the start of what could be one of the worst fire seasons yet, it’s time to celebrate the Fourth of July! Last year I marked the occasion by watching National Treasure, so it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that this year I’m looking at National Treasure: Book of Secrets. So without further ado, LET’S KIDNAP THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!
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Free Fall (2013)
Who has two thumbs and survived the worst heatwave to hit the Pacific Northwest in recorded history? This guy! Anyway, Pride Month is almost over and there was one last thing I wanted to do in honor of it: watch Freier Fall, AKA Free Fall. It’s a German film from 2013 about two men who fall in love, but society is against them. Sound familiar and a little… overplayed? Sure does to me!
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Last Ferry (2019)
I’m starting this post with an aside. I live in in the Pacific Northwest in part due to its moderate weather. Well, it’s supposed to be 100° the day I’m writing this, and we’re on track for 110° on Monday, the day this goes live. So, uh, if I suddenly stop posting, it’s because I died of heat stroke.
Chwineka Watches
The dead speak!
Chwineka Watches 