Tag: cheap looking
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Amityville: Mt. Misery Road (2018)
Ha ha HA!! I bet you saw the title and thought to yourself, “Oh thank god, he’s finally done with all that Mothman shit.” WELL THINK AGAIN, DEAR READER!! Turns out Tubi had one last movie with Mothman, and this time there’s an actual Mothman in it! Sure, it was for two seconds, and it was actually a dream, and it looked like garbage, but still!
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The Mothman Curse (2014)
What’s worse than a Mothman movie with a bad Mothman? A Mothman movie that doesn’t have any Mothman! Yeah, we’re still on America’s second favorite cryptid (I’ll get to you another day, Bigfoot), and today’s movie is just… bad. Astonishingly bad. So bad that I’m skipping a normal recap and just ripping right into the fucker.
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Cold Creepy Feeling (2010)
I know I complained about it in the Paranormal Investigation post, but man, movies about ghosts with absolutely no special effects suck. I guess it can rarely work–The Blair Witch Project, while not about a ghost per say, has no special effects and is amazing–but no effects AND a complete lack of effort a bad movie make. Throw in a title like Cold Creepy Feeling–sometimes called Cold Creepy Feeling: Paranormal Exorcism for unknown reason–and we have a hat trick of suck.
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The Wolves of Kromer (1998)
I honestly don’t remember how I first heard about this movie. It’s pretty low budget and stars no one you’ve heard of (one actress was “Historian’s Wife” in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and another was Jira from Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace who I had to look up because who the actual fuck is that). Well, Boy George is the occasional narrator, but they had him in the studio for, like, an hour. Anyway, it’s a weird little story about wolves. Or gay men. Or gay wolves.
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The Room (2003)
I think we all knew that I would review The Room at some point. I own two copies of it because I lent a copy to a friend, forgot, bought a replacement, and then she gave it back. I’ve seen it well over two dozen times, both with the RiffTrax (the guys from MST3K providing an audio file you sync yourself) and without. I’ve read The Disaster Artist, the book Greg Sestero wrote about what a nightmare making the film was, and I’ve even seen the solid 3 out of 5 movie adaptation of that book. So I feel a…
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Lo (2009)
Look, I absolutely can talk about Batman non-stop for weeks on end, but for both our sakes I’d rather not. I still have several movies I own that I want to talk about, so that means the occasional break in the three or four weeks I’m going to be focusing on this particular superhero. So instead of something related like The Shadow, we have Lo.
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Plankton (1994)
So there’s a sub-genre of movies–mostly horror–that are fascinating to me in how niche they are: they have an Italian director, usually with American/English actors, and all the filmed audio is thrown out the window in favor of re-recording it in the studio later. Why do this? Some say that because the film will have to be re-dubed into foreign languages anyway, why not, but it’s still… jarring. This movie is jarring and weird.
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The Mummy’s Kiss (2003)
Dear reader, I want you to know that I have standards for this blog. Somewhat high standards! The kind of standards where once I find out that a movie I’m watching on Amazon dot com has been severely edited, I go out and search for the intact version. And for this movie, that happened to be Pornhub, so I guess my standards aren’t all that high…
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The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2001)
There are–in my mind–three kinds of film parodies. The first are soulless cash grabs. Stuff like most of the Scary Movie franchise, Date Movie, Vampires Suck… really, anything by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. The second are shameless knock-offs. Stretching the definition a bit, but these include Doctor Mordrid, Atlantic Rim, and most of the movies made by The Asylum that aren’t Syfy original movies. And the last are made by people who actually enjoyed the source material: Galaxy Quest, Young Frankenstein, and The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, a movie Movie Night adores.
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Just Another Romantic Wrestling Comedy (2006)
At Movie Night there’s a thing we call “Seagaling.” Named after Steven Seagal and inspired by some of his worst movies, it’s when we speed up a movie one click so it ends faster, but we can still say that we watched it. Anyway, I don’t think I can watch Just Another Romantic Wrestling Comedy without Seagaling it; it’s just irredeemably bad.
Chwineka Watches 