The Room (2003)

I think we all knew that I would review The Room at some point. I own two copies of it because I lent a copy to a friend, forgot, bought a replacement, and then she gave it back. I’ve seen it well over two dozen times, both with the RiffTrax (the guys from MST3K providing an audio file you sync yourself) and without. I’ve read The Disaster Artist, the book Greg Sestero wrote about what a nightmare making the film was, and I’ve even seen the solid 3 out of 5 movie adaptation of that book. So I feel a bit of obligation to review this.

I think everyone who is reading this knows about The Room, but just in case: we follow writer/director/producer/star Mr. Tommy Wiseau as Johnny, a man who is engaged to marry Lisa. Too bad Lisa’s cheating on Johnny with his best friend, Mark! In the end the cheating is revealed and Johnny kills himself. So sad. Now, I skipped a lot of stuff in the middle, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing that happens for almost a full hour (right after the second sex scene up to the surprise birthday party) matters. Not the cancer that never gets brought up again, not Lisa’s friends having oral sex in her apartment before we learn their names, not Wiseau’s weird instance that the word “fiancé” is never spoken, not the other two sex scenes, nothing. And that’s partly what makes this movie so infamous: Tommy Wiseau made just about every wrong decision possible, and only “succeeded” though the grace of having $6 million lying around and that people found this movie unintentionally hilarious.

But everyone’s already talked about The Room, so I’m going to talk about the missing piece of the puzzle, The Room: The Game. Originally on Newgrounds (so it’s probably no longer working), the game is a fan project that attempts to fill in the myriad plot holes in the movie. What happened to Peter the psychologist? Chris R killed him when he broke out of jail, duh. But the biggest question the movie leaves unanswered is, what the hell is wrong with Tommy Wiseau? Why is he such a fucking weirdo all the time? Why, he’s an alien, of course! I had suspected this after seeing the ill-fitting meat suit he pretends is his body during two out of the four sex scenes, but the game has that as the true ending. You can probably find clips on YouTube, so if you’re a weirdo like me, check it out.

Oh, also, Denny’s actor is older than both Juliette Danielle (Lisa) and Greg Sestero (Mark). I had no good place to fit that in, but since the movie treats him like a teenager, I thought others should know.


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3 thoughts on “The Room (2003)

  1. Pingback: Ink (2009) – Chwineka Watches

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