Tag: cheap looking
-
Dark Star (1974)
Did you know that sci-fi as a genre existed before Star Wars? I’m as shocked as you are. Or I would be if I wasn’t being facetious and also had previously seen Dark Star years ago. It’s a strange little film that’s really only noteworthy because of who made it; it’s certainly not remembered for it’s plot, and maybe only I half-remembered its soundtrack.
-
Battle Beyond the Stars (1980)
So I didn’t expect to cover a “tangentially related to Star Wars” movie so early, but one of my friends brought this to Movie Night and… well, it’s very clearly piggybacking off of the hot 1977 film Star Wars. What, you’ve never heard of Battle Beyond the Stars? Well I certainly hadn’t and I gotta get this post written up before it escapes my brain. At the moment it’s getting pushed out by “I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper.”
-
Amityville Hex (2021)
Have you ever seen a movie that haunted you so much that you just had to sit down at your computer and write a post about it, despite still technically being on a hiatus? No? Just me? Then I guess you haven’t seen Amityville Hex, a movie that I’ll either forget next week or will remember until the day I die. There is no in-between.
-
Saw 3D (2010)
I know I’m getting more and more exasperated with these Saw movies during Saw-mhain, but you guys, they’re getting so bad. Saw 3D was the worst one I’ve seen up to this point in the franchise, and that’s really saying something! This was supposed to be the end of an era, answering all the lingering questions viewers have had since the first Saw. But really all I’m left with is questions. Or, really, just one: why bother?
-
Evil Toons (1992)
I would like to lodge a formal complaint. I was promised porn stars in a cheesy horror movie fighting to survive against evil cartoons brought to life, and yet there was only one titular evil toon. Yes, there is the suggestion that the Knockoffronomicon has more sinister animated beasties, but I’d argue that’s still false advertising. Well att least I got to listen to some godawful rock music… Okay, maybe I should start from the beginning.
-
FleshEater (1988)
And so we end October of the Living Dead the same way we started: with Mr. Bill Hinzman. Remember back in Night of the Living Dead when I said to keep him in mind for later on? Well, that time is now! The man who played the first “ghoul” we see made a career out of that appearance, culminating in this film that he wrote, directed, and starred it. It’s currently freely streaming on Tubi, so that kind of tells you the quality.
-
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Everybody’s got a movie they think is overrated. Some are contrarians–check out the 1 star reviews of any of the more famously well received films for examples–while others just don’t get the hype. I find myself in that second camp with the original Dawn of the Dead, a film that just went on longer than it needed to while not really doing much. Oh man, am I already hitting the inevitable decline in quality this early in October of the Living Dead? This could be a problem…
-
A Wrestling Christmas Miracle (2020)
Mr. Ken del Vecchio is a bad man. His politics sucks, his writing sucks, his acting sucks, and the fact that he forces his kid into his movies sucks. Joker’s Poltergeist was in very poor taste, A Karate Christmas Miracle, was baffling, and A Wrestling Christmas Miracle was so, so boring. The others may be worse to some people, but this was the bottom of the barrel for me.
-
Blood Freak (2020)
I have no one to blame but myself. Not only did I willingly invited suffering into my life, but I sought it out. And all it cost me was a piece of my soul. And $13. Free shipping, though!
-
Under ConTroll (2019)
There are two types of bad movies–okay, there are way more than that, but just go with me on this. The two types are movies made sincerely, and those that are not. The Room is a masterpiece of bad cinema because Mr. Tommy Wiseau really, truly thought he was making art. But all the Scary Movie films and their spin-offs were made to be intentionally bad, and they end up being bad in a different, less enjoyable way. So which is Under ConTroll, the German sequel to Troll 2? Well there’s nothing sincere about this movie, so that’s telling.
Chwineka Watches 