I just can't talk about this movie without going full spoilers. There's a lot to cover, so this will be on the longer side.
romance
A Puppy for Christmas (2016)
Christmas means many things to many people, but its true meaning is to be in a relationship with someone who will help you decorate a tree for the holidays. Oh, you doubt me? Then why are there a million different Christmas romances where that's the message? Checkmate. In this particular case, A Puppy for Christmas is about finding your one true Christmas love AND adopting the worst puppy ever. Just a garbage dog. Girl, you're ruining your life with this animal.
Interview with the Vampire (1994)
At the beginning of December, I was finishing up a week of The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari movies so I said that December wouldn't be just Christmas/winter holiday movies. That was also said because I want to talk about Spider-Man: No Way Home when I see it as well, but then... death happened. Ms. Anne Rice, author of The Vampire Chronicles, died this past Saturday at the age of 80. Interview with the Vampire has always been on my list of films to talk about on the blog, so now seemed as good a time as any, as a sort of memorial.
Single All the Way (2021)
It was only a matter of time before things got gay up in here. Last year during December I watched Happiest Season, the queer romcom about Ms. Kristen Stewart not falling for the seductive charms of Aubrey Plaza. And it was cute! Sure, two out of the three main lesbians involved in the love triangle were played by straight actors (as far as I can tell), but that's just the sad reality of movies. I mean, can you imagine a gay Christmas movie where all three in the love triangle are gay? Well I can, because that's Single All the Way. I mean, you had to see that coming.
Needle in a Timestack (2021)
Sure seems like there's a trend of me watching a non-horror movie during October--a month I just devote to nothing but horror films--that makes me go, "Oh, I have to talk about this." Last year was Are We Not Cats, and this year it's the amazingly titled Needle in a Timestack. Teams of people read that name and thought, "This is perfectly acceptable"? Remarkable. Anyway, it's a movie about time travel and it's... certainly something.
Book of Blood (2009)
Not every movie in this interlude near the middle of the Hellbound Halloween is going to have ties to Hellraiser. The previous two films--Nightbreed and Lord of Illusions--are connected through comics and novels, but that still counts (sort of). Book of Blood, however, is just a ghost story. It does have ties to other films, but no obvious connection to Pinhead and his ilk. They can't all fit the theme perfectly.
What If…? – Season 1, Episode 7
A lot of What If...? comic stories are total downers. A bunch of real bummer buzzkills, bro! But why can't everything just be chill for once? Sometimes it's just nice to have an alternate reality that doesn't harsh my vibe. I'm running out of incredibly dated slang, but the gist is that "What If Thor Was an Only Child?" is essentially a frat bro comedy about Earth's biggest party ever, and the party poopers who are ready to nuke the site from orbit.
Revolutionary Girl Utena – Season 1, Episodes 11-13
Hey look! It's me not falling behind on stuff! That's right, we're back with the final three episodes in the Student Council Saga for Shōjo Kakumei Utena, AKA Revolutionary Girl Utena. It's been a wild ride of Utena fighting to protect Anthy from the school's student council, who want Anthy for just about every wrong reason imaginable. The time has come for student council president Touga Kiryuu to make enact his plan against our hero, and oh what a plan it is.
Cool as Ice (1991)
Mr. Vanilla Ice was never actually cool, right? All I really know about him is that he did "Ninja Rap" for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, he copied the baseline in "Ice Ice Baby" from Queen's "Under Pressure," and he has an enormous dick. Allegedly. I think he's more meme than man today, but was he ever actually popular to the masses? Apparently not movie audiences if the failure of Cool as Ice is any indication.
Remember Me (2010)
Sometimes one particular moment stands out in a movie and that's all you remember. When I think the movie Plankton, it takes me a moment to remember the "plot" as I'm immediately focusing on the scene where one girl has caviar oozing out of her vagina as she shouts to the eggs that Mommy loves them. This is also the case with Remember Me, a movie starring Mr. Robert Pattinson that came out in the middle of the Twilight franchise. Before I watched this movie for the third time for this post, I couldn't remember any plot details other than the twist ending where Pattinson dies in the Twin Towers on 9/11.
Chwineka Watches 