Category: 2015
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The Ridiculous 6 (2015)
This was not the movie I intended to talk about today. See, in preparing for a month dedicated to the worst movies ever, I collected a bunch of links to visit later. One was for a movie called Daniel der Zauberer, AKA Daniel the Wizard, the #18 movie (as of writing) on the IMDB Bottom 100 and a film directed by my nemesis, Mr. Ulli Lommel (no I will never shut up about Diary of a Cannibal). It’s a German film but it has to have subtitles, right? Well after spending $3 to rent it on Vimeo, turns out it…
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Santa’s Little Helper (2015)
Once upon a time, my guilty pleasure was watching WWE wrestling (I’ve previously talked about it in the Scooby-Doo! and WWE: Curse of the Speed Demon post). But even that doesn’t fully explain why I bought a physical DVD of a Christmas comedy starring The “The Miz” Miz, AKA Mr. Mike Mizanin, AKA The Miz. He’s not my favorite wrestler. He’s not even in my top 10! The only lists he tops are “most punchable faces” and “best example of self-absorbed heels!” But this also features Saraya-Jade “Paige” Bevis, one of my favorites. And she’s the sinister rival. With hilariously…
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The Spirit of Christmas (2015)
Ah, Christmas… It’s a magical time of year overflowing with romantic opportunities. Or at least that’s how it is in Lifetime original movies where the only gift the female lead needs to buy is for her love interest, friends and family be damned. These movies generally follow a plot of “woman sad, woman meet man, woman kiss man in snow,” but when a film breaks with that pattern, sometimes true magic happens. So let’s talk about a Lifetime movie where a lady wants to fuck a Christmas ghost!
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Mr. Right (2015)
I want to get something out of the way before we begin: No, Ian, this is not a sequel to 1996’s Mr. Wrong, a film where a still closeted Ms. Ellen DeGeneres has to fend off the stalker Bill Pullman. I see what you did there, but no. What this movie is instead is… weird. Like, at the time of writing I don’t have a “quirky” tag for the blog, but after this I’m giving it some seriously consideration.
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Digging Up the Marrow (2015)
A monster’s design can make or break a movie. There are countless times where I’ve been watching a movie and once the dreaded beast is shown to the audience it’s… bad. Sometimes REALLY bad. So I want to start off by saying that the majority of the monsters in Digging Up the Marrow look great! It’s just a shame that they couldn’t be in something better.
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The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power (2015)
I was kind of right! Score half a point for me! In the The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption post, I said I’d be pissed if Cobra/Silda and her people were killed off between movies, and they… might have been? They’re never mentioned, Mathayus’ new kingdom is never mentioned, and anything tying this to the previous movie has seemingly been scrubbed away. I mean, except for keeping Mr. Victor Webster as the Scorpion King. Like… why keep the actor if you’re not keeping almost any other form of continuity?
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Mega Shark vs Kolossus (2015)
Shark Week is wrapping up, and so are the Mega Shark movies. Well, until Mega Shark vs Moby Dick, which is supposed to come out in 2021 but that’s Future Chwineka’s problem. Until then we’ve reached the end of this franchise, and this last entry… didn’t suck? It was bad, don’t get me wrong, but bad in a lot of the the right ways.
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Russell Madness (2015)
Did you know that there is an Air Bud cinematic universe? If you need a moment to process that, you’re probably not alone. Air Bud spawned Air Buddies, which in turn spawned Santa Buddies and its sequel. But that’s not all in the talking animal universe (the puppies talk, by the way)! Now firmly in the control of writer/director/producer Robert Vince, we also have Pup Stars (dogs singing), several monkey movies (MVP: Most Valuable Primate, Spymate, Monkey Up, etc.), and now Russell Madness.
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Liza the Fox-Fairy (2015)
I’ve only ever seen one Wes Anderson movie (Rushmore, in case you were wondering). I’m not actively avoiding the filmmaker, but I just haven’t taken the time to watch a lot of his movies. But I do get the “Wes Anderson aesthetic” (or at least the version of it that has spawned a thousand memes)! So I will say that Liza, a rókatündér, AKA Liza the Fox-Fairy, is a Hungarian Wes Anderson movie. Just with a murderous lounge ghost.
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Bound (2015)
I have a general policy to never say that a movie featuring Daniel Baldwin is “good.” That also applies to Billy Baldwin, but that’s off topic. Anyway, The Asylum’s special brand of “mockbusters” are typically pretty bad and it’s generally safe to say that they all suck. But every once in a while… there’s one that sucks slightly less than the others.
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