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Prey of the Jaguar (1997)
I love discount DVDs. Two movies you’ve never heard of for a dollar? Sign me up! I don’t even care that they’re usually pretty awful. Are you really going to regret a movie where you only spent 50 cents? I mean, generally I’d say no, but I’m not the one in my friend group who […]
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The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power (2015)
I was kind of right! Score half a point for me! In the The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption post, I said I’d be pissed if Cobra/Silda and her people were killed off between movies, and they… might have been? They’re never mentioned, Mathayus’ new kingdom is never mentioned, and anything tying this to the previous movie has seemingly been scrubbed away. I mean, except for keeping Mr. Victor Webster as the Scorpion King. Like… why keep the actor if you’re not keeping almost any other form of continuity?
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Devil’s Gate (2018)
Have you noticed that a good chunk of horror media uses easily recognizable creatures but avoids naming them as such? Like, those aren’t zombies in The Walking Dead; they’re “walkers” or “biters” or whatever. In 28 Days Later they’re called “the infected.” And in 2007’s I Am Legend those aren’t “vampires;” they’re… actually I don’t know what those creatures are supposed to be, but they’re vampires in the source material. What I’m trying to say is I didn’t hear the word “alien” in this movie until about an hour and 22 minutes in, despite just about everyone watching the movie…
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The Boy (2016)
I reviewed Brahms: The Boy II what feels like a decade ago, but records tell me was only… 6 and a half months ago? We were so young, back then. Anyway, wasn’t it weird that I reviewed a sequel before I talked proper about the first film? So let’s dive into the original and see if the sequel’s twist ruins everything!
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The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption (2012)
Full disclosure, this was the last film in Mummy Mondays that I was looking forward to. I had never seen a Scorpion King movie before this, and I wasn’t all that excited to do so. This movie was the exception for two very big reasons: Mr. Billy Zane and Ron Perlman! Motherfuckin’ the Collector from Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight and the good Hellboy! Even if this movie was awful, at least I had those two keeping me afloat.
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Amityville: Mt. Misery Road (2018)
Ha ha HA!! I bet you saw the title and thought to yourself, “Oh thank god, he’s finally done with all that Mothman shit.” WELL THINK AGAIN, DEAR READER!! Turns out Tubi had one last movie with Mothman, and this time there’s an actual Mothman in it! Sure, it was for two seconds, and it was actually a dream, and it looked like garbage, but still!
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Moth (2017)
So a friend of mine enjoys a theory about The Blair Witch Project that says there was nothing supernatural in the movie at all; Josh and Mike were faking everything to fuck with Heather. While I can see someone having that galaxy brain take, I’m personally not a fan. Not that I’m opposed to fakeouts like that! It’s just that when a movie intentionally goes for a twist like that it has to be done with care, otherwise you get something shitty like The Turning. Why bring this up when I’m going to be talking about yet another Mothman movie?…
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The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior (2008)
We’ve reached the point of Mummy Mondays where we’re talking about a sequel AND a prequel to a spin-off to what is effectively a reboot. Cue the Inception noise. This movie is… certainly something I spent almost 2 hours watching.
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The Mothman Curse (2014)
What’s worse than a Mothman movie with a bad Mothman? A Mothman movie that doesn’t have any Mothman! Yeah, we’re still on America’s second favorite cryptid (I’ll get to you another day, Bigfoot), and today’s movie is just… bad. Astonishingly bad. So bad that I’m skipping a normal recap and just ripping right into the fucker.
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Mothman (2010)
So what do we know about Mothman? Seen around Point Pleasant, West Virginia from 1966-67, it would swoop down and stare at people with its glowing red eyes. Generally described as a tall gray shape with no discernible head and giant wings, its sightings seemingly stopped after the December 15, 1967 Silver Bridge disaster that killed 46 people. And depending on where you go on the internet, it’s the loving monster boyfriend to many. Mothman is an iconic cryptid, so it’s such a shame that so many movies about it fucking suck.
Chwineka Watches
The dead speak!
Chwineka Watches 