Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)

Last year I said that The Blair Witch Project is a great film, and I will always stand by that statement. Sure, it unleashed a plague of cheap found footage garbage, but can you really blame the good thing for all the cheap knockoffs that follow? Speaking of cheap knockoffs, this year we're talking about Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, a mistake on just about every level. Sure, that sounds a bit unfair, but how else am I supposed to feel about a movie called "Book of Shadows" that doesn't ever feature--or even reference or mention--a spooky and/or witchy book? So the title is a lie, right out the gate? Fan-fuckin-tastic.

Hellraiser: Inferno (2000)

Whoa! We're halfway there! The Hellbound Halloween continues with the fifth movie in the Hellraiser franchise, Hellraiser: Inferno. This is the first film in the series not to be released in theaters, and also the first where it's really, really obvious that this was originally an unrelated script before the cenobites were tacked on. As a result the execution is... polarizing. It's a very strange movie, but I think I can safely say it's the best Silent Hill film yet!

Beethoven’s 3rd (2000)

The Beethoven movies are apparently lucrative. The first film, Beethoven, was popular enough that a sequel, Beethoven's 2nd, was quickly made for release the next year. Sure, the second one didn't get very good reviews, but that never really stopped anyone before. It did seem to put off any more sequels for while, though; Beethoven's 3rd came out 7 years after its predecessor. It was straight to DVD and had none of the original cast. But how do you tell the story of this particular dog, beloved by his family, if you don't have that particular family? Why, you mail him in a crate to relatives!

Battlefield Earth (2000)

Part of the "fun" of spending an entire month watching some of the worst movies ever made is seeing things that have been on my to-do list for years. Like, sure, I've seen Birdemic: Shock and Terror several times and The Room close to 30 times (fuck you, only God can judge me), but what about all those movies that I couldn't bring myself to inflict on my friends? So despite all the garbage I've watched in my life, Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 had slipped me by. But now's my chance to remedy this mistake! Lucky me!

X-Men (2000)

No surprise to anyone who knows me, but I am a huge X-Men nerd. The first comic I really remember picking up was Uncanny X-Men #300, chosen after careful consideration at how the story–just kidding, it was a holographic cover and my dumb kid brain latched onto it. I was instantly hooked, absorbing just about every piece of X-Men media I could. There was the animated series, action figures, trading cards, card games, board games, and of course, enough comics that if they were to fall on me, I’d be crushed to death. As time went on I became a bit more discerning and stopped picking up every single Marvel comic that had an “X” in the title, but my love of the characters continued. So imagine my joy when my favorite heroes were going to appear on the silver screen! And the result was… fine. It’s fine by today’s standards. It’s fine.